Harm of adultery

I READ with alarm your article entitled "Could an affair save your marriage?" (20 July). I shall leave the moral debate to others, but there a few points I wish to pick up on.

The claim that "the rate of divorce caused by infidelity is at an all-time low" is false. True, there are fewer divorces citing adultery as the cause of the marriage breakdown. This is because, unless the defendant (in Scotland; respondent in England) admits to adultery, the adultery is almost impossible to prove.

Since the family law reforms in Scotland in 2006, there is an even heavier burden of "proof" for fault-based divorces (adultery and unreasonable behaviour) it is "easier" and usually quicker for couples to opt for the non-cohabitation route.

In England/Wales, due to non-admittance of adultery, many more are seeking a divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, citing an "inappropriate relationship with a third party" as the main cause. Incidentally, there is no adultery as a reason for the breakdown in a civil partnership.

The only true legal "reason" for granting a divorce - in either jurisdiction - is the "irretrievable breakdown of the marriage" - the cause(s) are there just to prove that indeed the marriage has broken down beyond repair. The cause of a divorce has no bearing on the financial aspect of divorce.

Wikivorce Scotland is Scotland's largest divorce support community, and we see, daily, the result of affairs, lying and cheating spouses — and while I accept that a very small number of marriages may "survive" an affair, the majority do not.

To run such an article is irresponsible, and gives carte-blanche to those seeking an "excuse" for a bit of extra-marital "fun".

RUTH MACKAY

Wikivorce Scotland

Sutherland