Drumlanrig: McClymont on the ball for Labour

McCLYMONT ON THE BALL FOR LABOUR

The benefits of a misspent youth have come to fruition for Gregg McClymont, the new Labour MP for Cumbernauld, Kilsyth and Kirkintilloch. When other children were playing space invaders or mucking around with their ZX Spectrums, McClymont was honing his fitba' skills - so much so that he has just been awarded the House of Commons' Golden Boot award.

McClymont scored eight goals in three games for the Commons team, including five against Talk Radio. Especially impressive when, by his own admission, "one burst, needs 15 minutes' recovery time".

His sporting prowess extends to bar-room games; he was recently crowned the House of Commons pool champion - an accolade suggesting a parliamentary career of great promise.

JOB FIGURES THAT DON'T WORK OUT

Last week's job figures released by the Office of National Statistics revealed welcome increases in employment north of the Border.

The detailed figures showed a remarkable 11.4 per cent surge in just one quarter in the NHS, health and social work, amounting to 44,000 extra job. How could this be? Er, actually it wasn't.

"The estimate for Health and Social Work in Scotland needs to be treated with caution and it is our advice this figure is not used as the basis of a story for jobs in Scotland," an ONS official explains. All down to a sampling error, apparently. All goes to prove the old truism about lies, damn lies and statistics.

FINGER-LICKING AWARD FOR JAMIE

Jamie McGrigor, the Old Etonian Conservative MP, was spotted wearing his very smart Royal Company of Archers tie recently.

It should come as no surprise to anybody that the aristocratic Jamie is a member of the Queen's Bodyguard for Scotland. But he was just as proud of the lapel badge he was sporting, signifying that he is a Kentucky Colonel. This has nothing to do with fried chickens. In fact, it is the highest title of honour that can be bestowed by the Commonwealth of Kentucky in recognition of noteworthy accomplishments and outstanding service.

Or as Jamie put it: "They gave this lovely thing when I was over there during Tartan Week. I've no idea why, but it really was kind."

BIG DAY REMEMBERED IN ROMANTIC REPLAY

The Nationalist power couple, Nicola Sturgeon and her husband Peter Murrell, have celebrated their first wedding anniversary. The pair spent the day going for a "late brekkie" in that fine eatery ran Mr in Glasgow's West End. The news was divulged in a tweet from Sturgeon, who pointed out that ran Mr was where "exactly a year ago today we got married". Ahhhh!