Drumlanrig

ICE COLD FOR ALEXSt Andrews University halls of residences seem to have an enigmatic quality for our politicians. Some time ago we reported the admission by Jamie Stone, below, that he was twice asked to leave Hamilton Hall when he was a student in the Fife resort.

First Minister Alex Salmond had the opposite problem in his student days. Returning to the Auld Grey Toon recently, he described St Andrews as the most beautiful but also the coldest place on the planet.

So chilly, he said, that he was "ensconced" in Melville Hall "for a week", because it was "so much colder than Lithgae". Dearie me, presumably he's toughened up a bit since then.

DINING REMASTERED

What a shame that Salmond and deputy Nicola Sturgeon had to cancel those now notorious lunches in Holyrood's smart restaurant, aka the White Heather Club.

The business people who bid 9,000 to eat with Salmond and 2,000 to dine with Sturgeon must be gutted that they have been cancelled after the so-called "cash for access" row that scuppered such jollies.

Not because they will miss out on some sparkling meal-time company. But because they have missed out on some super grub in the White Heather Club, which appears to be hiring "celebrity" chefs.

The nosh in the subsidised eatery is always of a high standard, but last week it was particularly mouthwatering.

Slaving in the kitchen (albeit on a temporary basis) was Willie Pike MBE. That's Willie Pike, the masterchef and winner of the Great British Recipe Competition in 1997.

LABOUR IN JOKE

Much chuckling in SNP ranks over the front page of Labour's website the other day.

An item flagging up "Labour's Independent Literary Commission" quoted Iain Gray as saying: "We need a revolution in literacy teaching our schools."

It would appear that the revolution has yet to reach John Smith House.

GAME ON FOR SCOTLAND

Alex Salmond addressed an anti-Trident rally in Edinburgh's boozy Grassmarket yesterday a few hours before the Calcutta Cup kicked off at Murrayfield.

Of course, the hostelries had a healthy smattering of English supporters up for the big match.

They may be avid fans of the oval ball game, but the various Nigels and Arabellas were no followers of Scottish politics.

"Who's that chap?" was one Barbour-clad drinker's reaction to Salmond's posturing.

"Dunno," replied another. "But with a figure like that, he looks as if he could solve Scotland's front row problem."