Drumlanrig

JENKINS - THE PIED PIPER OF TORY HQCraig Oliver, below, the new director of communications for Number 10, may now be the most powerful media figure in the land, but it was not always thus.

As a fresh graduate trainee, Oliver began his trek to stardom at the Scottish TV studios at what was known in those days as one of the "10-4s" - a nickname derived from his 10,400 salary. Oliver was in the news room and, by coincidence, next door, in the current affairs department, was fellow "10-4", a young Michael Gove, now Secretary of State for Education.

The head of news at the time was Blair Jenkins, more recently the esteemed chair of the Scottish Broadcasting Commission. He can now add midwife to the current Conservative Party to his lengthy CV.

GREEN SAYS BYE-BYE TO BANKING BONUS

Nothing is more toxic to politicians these days than being seen to be soft on banks or to be seen to be benefiting from them. So when the coalition government's first list of ministerial interests was published last week, there was a big problem for newly appointed Business Minister Lord Green, director of HSBC, who, it transpires, has received 3.6 million in shares this year for "performance-related" work (ie a bonus). However, it transpires that the peer is to give the whole lot away to charity. That's a lot of money to avoid a nasty headline.

FOREVER YOUNG IN DUNBARTONSHIRE

Misquote of the week comes from Jackie Baillie, Labour's health spokeswoman and MSP for Dumbarton. In a spat with her SNP opponent for the seat, Councillor Iain Robertson, over the treatment of elderly people, Baillie lashed out at cuts in spending on care. "The simple truth is that Councillor Robertson and his SNP colleagues have made it almost impossible to grow old or have a disability in West Dunbartonshire," she argued.

One SNP source noted: "Judging by Jackie Baillie's remarks we have somehow created a Shangri-La in West Dunbartonshire and almost achieved immortality for everyone."

DESPERATE TIMES, DESPERATE MEASURES

Government cutbacks are having all sorts of unforeseen effects on the country. It was reported last week that while the cuts are plunging some industries into recession, they are leading to a boom in strip clubs.

One Glasgow woman, known as "Marcia", declared that she "would struggle to get another job the way things are going with George Osborne's cuts. I expect we will see a lot more girls coming through the door once the cuts take effect," she noted.