Dose of hypnosis could help Holyrood

IS THERE no problem for which hypnosis might not offer a solution?

Revelations that celebrity hypnotist Paul McKenna is being brought to Scotland at taxpayers' expense to give a motivational talk to unemployed youngsters sparked a row in the Scottish Parliament yesterday. He has been hired by Skills Development Scotland, a Scottish Government agency, in conjunction with Enterprise Employment, a private training consultancy, North Lanarkshire Council and South Lanarkshire Council to help boost youngsters' confidence. First Minister Alex Salmond retorted to a sceptical Iain Gray that perhaps the hypnotist should run an additional course on how to be an opposition leader.

This political knockabout aside, here may be a door-opening opportunity for Mr McKenna. Why not develop an all-party course on how to read positive signs of impending triumph from diving opinion polls? Or, for the Conservatives, a course in make-believe bouncing to boost party morale?

The Scottish Government should certainly invest in a hypnotist to turn audiences into a state of suspenseful thrall while listening to a speech by John Swinney. Hypnosis might even cure Jim Mather of his addiction to mind maps. Perhaps most urgent of all, the hypnotist could place the whole parliament under a trance while the First Minister persuades it to give unswerving support.