Chris Marshall: Why little lies are the cornerstone of modern manners

THEY'RE the sort of casually uttered questions which strike fear into the hearts of men up and down the country. Seemingly innocuous little inquiries, they pack the ability to ruin an evening, or even bring a once happy relationship to a juddering halt.

If you can't think of anything diplomatic to say to such leading questions as "How do I look?" or "Does my bum look big in this?", take a tip from your fellow man . . . lie.

New research shows that almost one in six men admit they are likely to lie to their wife or girlfriend at least twice a day.

Perennial porkies such as "You look lovely" or "No, your bum doesn't look big in that" are among the most oft-uttered fibs, according to the study.

It's not just men. Researchers found that the average Briton tells an average of four lies a day, with huge amounts of us failing to be straight on matters such as our weight, how much debt we're in or how much exercise we do.

Unsurprisingly, however, it seems that men are the worst offenders, lying an average of five times a day, compared with women who lie just three times.

While telling your girlfriend she looks lovely may not exactly be the most heinous of crimes, some of the behaviour uncovered by researchers is, frankly, enough to make even a professional footballer blush.

Kissing or spending the night with another women emerged as the worst lie that many men have told, while one in five admitted to lying to their better half so they could head to the pub to watch sport.

More than a fifth said they had lied about flirting with another woman.

Meanwhile, although women tell fewer lies, it seems they are better at it than their male counterparts.

Three-quarters of those surveyed thought women were better liars than men. The research also found that 46 per cent of women had been caught lying, compared to 58 of men.

More than 40 per cent of women owned up to lying about how much new clothes actually cost, while 30 per cent admitted to fibbing about how much they'd had to drink.

A spokesman for OnePoll, which carried out the research of 4,300 adults, says lying is often "tactically necessary." He says: "As a nation we are obsessed with trying to be nice and not upsetting people. Often little white lies can paper over what we actually want to say.

"Most of these were considered either completely harmless or tactically necessary depending on the situation in which they are delivered."

He adds: "It was sad to see a string of compliments in the top 50, but once again in many cases perhaps it is better to flatter with a fib than destroy someone with the truth."

It seems that lying is getting easier too. According to psychologists, modern technology has made it simpler to hide behind a white lie, with the likes of "I couldn't get a signal", "our server was down" and "my battery died" all common excuses for not getting in touch with someone.

However, Ben Williams, an Edinburgh-based chartered psychologist, says the use of technology can sometimes be a "double-edged sword".

He says: "People can access their partner's mobile phones or e-mail, so you leave an information trail. They used to say if you don't want to get caught, don't write anything down!

"Perhaps a more serious point is that the most powerful thing that anyone can be is themselves, and you can't be yourself when you're telling lies.

"In a time when people are suffering more than ever from depression, feelings of inadequacy and low self-confidence, it's important that people say what they mean and mean what they say."

He adds: "There's a difference between being open and truthful and being tactless."