Catch up on the week

MONDAY

Soham murderer Ian Huntley, below, was in hospital after reportedly having his throat slashed by a fellow prison inmate.

The 36-year-old was attacked in Frankland Prison in County Durham, where he is serving two life sentences for murdering schoolgirls Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman.

TUESDAY

The government announced it will expel an Israeli diplomat over the use of fake UK passports by suspected Mossad agents in the assassination of a Hamas commander in Dubai.

The UK reacted angrily when it emerged 12 cloned British passports were used in the killing of the founder of Hamas's military wing, Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, which has been linked to the Israeli secret service Mossad.

WEDNESDAY

Fresh inquiries were being made into the death of the daughter of Dame Shirley Bassey, left, after the family of a convicted serial killer handed detectives fresh information. The Welsh singer has always maintained the death of Samantha Novak 25 years ago was not an accident or suicide. Novak, 21, was found in the River Avon. She had no water in her lungs.

THURSDAY

A stockbroker was found guilty of stalking model Sophie Anderton by bombarding her with text messages. Paul Davis, 59, initially contacted Anderton claiming he intended to write her biography.

FRIDAY

Formula 1 star Lewis Hamilton apologised after having his Mercedes impounded in Australia for driving in an "over-exuberant manner". Hamilton, 25, was stopped in Melbourne for allegedly "deliberately losing traction" of the vehicle – reports in Australia said the 2008 Formula 1 world champion was seen "doing a burnout and fishtail". He is likely to face a fine.

GOOD WEEK

Mark Miller

The Coatbridge-born comic book artist's controversial new feature film, Kick-Ass, had its Scottish premiere and drew immediate praise from the critics despite its graphic violence and its female child assassin. His superhero caper – played for laughs despite its content – will cement his reputation as one of Hollywood's rising stars.

BAD WEEK

Geoff Hoon

First, the former Defence Minister was exposed as one of several MPs to be caught up in a cash-for-access scandal, then he had the Labour whip withdrawn for his alleged misdemeanour. That was followed up by him being asked to stand down from a top Nato post after losing the support of Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

What the papers said… about a ban on smoking in cars proposed by doctors.

The Scotsman: Critics do not question an extension of the ban to cars as such but argue it would be unenforceable. But it is no more so than compulsory seatbelts or a ban on dangerous driving. The vast majority would accept the legitimacy of a smoking ban.

The Sun: It's hard to argue with on health grounds but the danger is a creeping attack on personal freedom.

A blanket ban penalises the driver without kids who pulls over for a quick puff to break up a journey. And after cars, what next? Turning smokers into criminals for having a cig in their own homes?

The Independent: Even if there are gains to be made, these are bans too far. The police and their ubiquitous cameras would be far better employed catching drivers who persist in using their mobile phones behind the wheel.

If there is any under-enforced law on the statute book, this is surely it.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"Try and be American, it's better than being a Scouser."

Noel Gallagher's advice to a fan

"She tastes as good as she looks."

Businessman Hosh Ibrahim, who paid 5,000 at a charity auction to be kissed by Kate Moss

"What I have always said about David Cameron is that he does a better Tony Blair than I do. I just do the voice, while Cameron is doing the whole career."

Rory Bremner

"I accept that some of the things in the cold light of day when they appear in print and are broadcast actually on television don't look good. I'm not pretending that they do."

Geoff Hoon, former defence secretary, who was caught up in the "cash for influence" sting

"I find this wave of super-skinny women scary. I'm not going to lie to you. I've got to drag myself down to the gym like everybody else. I'm quite a broad girl, not at all delicate."

Catherine Zeta-Jones

"I wire up their holes, I barricade my plants. But secretly I want them to win.

Writer John Le Carre on dealing with a plague of badgers in the garden of his Cornish home

RIP: HARRY CARPENTER

1925–2010

HE gave us "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew," after the 1977 Boat Race, but Harry Carpenter was always on safer ground when commentating on his beloved boxing – perhaps most memorably when Muhammad Ali recaptured the world heavyweight crown in 1974 at the age of 32. He will be long remembered as one of the great BBC sports presenters.

THIS LIFE:

"Hiya Chelsea, it's Elaine from work. I had to tell the owner bout u losin that tenner coz obviously the till was down at the end of the day. She wasn't very pleased at all and despite me trying to persuade her otherwise she said I have to let you go. I'm really sorry. Elainexx"

So ran the first, publicly reported, sacking via Facebook, a salutary sign of the times. The victim was Chelsea Taylor, 16, who was fired from her Saturday job at a local cafe in Leigh, Greater Manchester, when she inadvertently lost 10 she had been given to buy biscuits.

Her mother Nicola said: "I'm absolutely fuming. To sack a young worker via Facebook is appalling and heartless – and the way it was written was dreadful."

BEST OF BLOGS:

"It was a bit of a relief to find out that Willie Bain appears to be a capable and articulate politician. And since he came down from his parents' high rise in Springburn to help save Labour in Glasgow North East, Willie's stock appears to have risen.

In a very short time he has become the parliamentary private secretary (PPS) to transport minister Sadiq Khan. Being a PPS is the first step to becoming a minister. There is no doubt he is one to look out for in the future depending on Labour's fortunes at the election, although he will certainly be coming back.

75668">David Maddox, the Steamie,

So now we know. You cannot call your political opponent a "numpty". Nor indeed a "sap".

So what prompted this torrent of street talk? MSPs were arguing over the scope of the real terms increase or decrease in Scotland's departmental expenditure limit, as modified by the acceleration of capital expenditure.

I know, I know, doesn't sound like the sort of issue to provoke sound and fury, let alone abuse. But they are sensitive plants, our politicians – or, at least, they are when an election is looming.

Blether with Brian, Brian Taylor BBC,

Jim Murphy – running scared? I was looking forward to seeing Jim Murphy get grilled this Thursday when Question Time comes to Glasgow. Sadly, it seems he has pulled out. The SecStatSco's most recent big party event was the Labour party fundraising dinner held immediately prior to Steven Purcell's resignation. I wonder if he's worried about a Glasgow audience posing the questions that the local media were too nervy to ask."

http://bellgrovebelle.blogspot.com/

Did you used to believe that swallowing apple seeds would cause trees to take root in your stomach, or similar such nonsense? Share your childhood misunderstandings and have a laugh at the kind of rubbish other people took as gospel when they were kids. http://www.iusedtobelieve.com/

Which is worse, wetting the bed at a friend's house or wetting the bed at home? Having each finger cut off or having your nose cut off? Find out how visitors vote for the worse of two scenarios. http://www.whichisworse.com/index.php

Did you know it is illegal to leave your house in Thailand if you are not wearing underwear? Or that all London Hackney cabs must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats? Enjoy this treasure trove of highly questionable legislation. http://www.dumblaws.com/

TWEETS

thesulk: I may get girls, but I'll never "get" girls.

davidschneider: Due to industrial action, British remake of Steve Martin/John Candy film likely to be called just "Automobiles"

PressSec: POTUS watched vote in room aptly named for president who started this (Roosevelt] – cheers and clapping at 216 – high five for Rahm, hugs all around

CraigyFerg: LA from balcony of 4 seasons bedroom. Take that Paris. (the city, she's not in the room)

iaindale: delighted for the camerons & surprised at sarky tone of some tweeters. it's a baby, for gawd's sake, not a policy statement.

SusanCalman: Woken early due to my cat demanding food and cuddles. Now I want the same and will have to wake up my girlfriend by meowing.

yokoono (right]: SPACE TRANSFORMER card: Attach a card saying SPACE TRANSFORMER to the room and/or object you wish to transform.

ladygaga: What mayhem in Melbourne tonight. Some kids just understand what it means live your eyeliner, breathe your lipstick, and kill for eachother.

sesamestreet: Grover: I had a cute little shadow, but when a cloud covered the sun my shadow went away. Conclusion: shadows are afraid of clouds!

StephenMangan: Off to run 6 miles for Sport Relief. Not feeling very athletic today. Think I sprained my arse getting into the taxi.