The company told this divided nation - already riven apart by closely fought referendums on other critical issues such as independence and Brexit - that 39 per cent of consumers wanted the coconut-filled chocolates exiled for good.
This minority has no mandate. The 28 per cent of those who believe coconut has “no place” in a chocolate should - of course - hang their heads in shame.
The Scotsman, ever-youthful in its 206th year, also rejects the manufacturer’s suggestion that it is the “mature” palette that appreciates Bounty’s flavour. We stand with the 18 per cent who hold Bounty bars as their favourite, ahead of Mars bars, Twixes or the childish Milky Way.
We might, however, accept that memories of Bounty’s old TV advertisements - think beaches, coral blue seas and coconuts cracking open on stones - might bring happy associations to readers of a certain age. Those 1980s ads, seemingly in every break on commercial television at the time, were welcome and exotic diversions from grim winter here in the real world. We miss those, and urge Mars Wrigley to consider a contemporary update.
In the meantime, we hope and trust the company’s dastardly threat to remove the Bounty from its place in our selection boxes is merely an inspired publicity stunt, and that we will be left alone to “taste a little paradise”, unencumbered by the faddy demands of modern taste, as we slump in front of the television this Christmas.