Why scientists have definitely not solved Loch Ness Monster mystery – leader comment

The Loch Ness Monster will never be caught

That such a giant beast has eluded us for so long surely demonstrates it must be a wily and intelligent creature, easily capable of pulling the wool over our eyes.

So the scientists who are now suggesting they may have solved the mystery after finding “a very significant amount of eel DNA” in the loch should perhaps be a bit more cautious about their claims.

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It seems unlikely that any “giant eel” of their imagination could live up to the considerably taller tales that have persisted throughout history.

No. The Scotsman feels certain that the real Nessie eats eels for breakfast and is now having a good chuckle at the scientists’ expense in its secret hideaway deep in the loch after wafting large amounts of the leftovers from its lastest feast towards their instruments.

In fact, we’re pretty much certain that the real Nessie will never be caught. For there are some things that are simply beyond our ken and always will be.

Nessie, the legend, will live on.