We cannot be trusted with fireworks and it’s time to leave them to the experts, writes Hayley Matthews.
I’m quietly raging at the delivery guy who was at my door earlier, ready to hand me my new phone until he realised he still had to do something with the parcel, scooted off, and didn’t come back. In the meantime, I’ve wiped my phone, restored it to the factory settings and feeling like someone has chopped off both my arms and my legs.
Where did the delivery guy go? Well apparently he tried to deliver and carded me but I have a different version of events. All that aside, it’s a feeling that I don’t like, that whole needing your phone and feeling completely shut off from the world. I’d love nothing more than to let off 600 words of steam about how annoyed I was but I’d rather put those words to good use so have instead decided that I’d let everyone know why I think fireworks should be banned for sale to the public. And so I’ll leave the driver alone, for now.
Before my phone was wiped, all that I could see on my feed were the stories of upset and destruction caused by the misuse of fireworks. So far I’ve read about a horse that was impaled on a fence after being spooked by fireworks, a toddler with burns down her neck after an accident with an exploding rocket that went off in her face and a hedgehog that had to be put to sleep after an incident with a bonfire.
Enough is enough. What on earth is it going to take for the Government to realise that the majority of us should not be trusted with fireworks.
With the message last year from Ian Hopkins, Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police, calling for a change in the law so pyrotechnics are no longer used by young people to “terrorise” communities, surely we have to listen up here as things this side of the border don’t seem much better, and in fact have got worse.
It should be no surprise that every year in the run-up to Hallowe’en, Bonfire night and Diwali both fire and police services are left struggling to cope. Not to mention good old Hogmanay. I’m starting to think that there are people who celebrate by setting off a firework just for making it through the week.
But seriously, we tend to lean towards the irresponsible side when trusted with the noisy sparkly rockets. Just look at the utter idiot who set off a rocket from his bum cheeks! Surely there wasn’t a single ounce of him that thought it would end well. I have zero sympathy for him. I do however, think it’s time we were denied accesses to the sale of fireworks leaving it to the organised, civilised and planned events.
Every time I hear a firework go off I shudder. Not because I’m scared of them, but because I feel for the wildlife, the sleeping babies, the shaking dogs and spooked horses wondering what the hell is going on. I can only imagine it feels like Armageddon for them and that they fear the worst, taking shelter or running for their lives. I also sob for the poor children left scarred for life by the cheap, nasty and poorly designed fireworks that leave them scarred both physically and mentally when they go badly wrong.
That advert from the 80s of the kid being bandaged up after holding a sparkler that set his hand on fire has stayed with me for life and made me very wary of holding anything that remotely resembles a small rocket.
In short, fireworks are bad news and the only good use I can think of for them is for sticking up the delivery driver’s bum!
A smooth operator
I’ve never been a huge fan of silk to wear as I’m always the one with bogies trailing down my back, or spaghetti hoops smeared down my front (yes, I’m a messy eater). However, I have heard lots about the benefits of sleeping on silk, albeit that’s quite a luxury.
I’m a bit protective of my pillows and pillowcases, so much so that I even have a lock on my bedroom door to keep manky wee hands and hairy cat bottoms out of it.
I’d read that the benefits of having a silk pillowcase include fewer facial sleep creases (yes it really is a thing), reduced thinning of the hair as well as helping the body to regulate the correct temperature.
I don’t get much quality sleep and can ill-afford a silk bed set, however, a pillowcase (which I now keep for myself) has managed to sneak its way on to my bed.
There are some quite expensive ones out there for £100-plus but you could get a second-hand one or if you’re buying new, the Silkup pillowcase is the most reasonable I’ve found for £58. I have it in stone and it’s really lovely.
So if you get a silk pillowcase from me for Christmas just know that it has nothing to do with you thinning on top and having a bald spot, it’s just that I know how you don’t like to be sweaty sleeper, I promise.