Watch with Mother the Mother of Parliaments - when politicians set a poor example - Janet Christie's Mum's the Word

Watch with Mother The Mother of Parliaments

Mum's the Word

In a bid to recreate a newsroom atmosphere while WFH, I have the telly on for the Sue Gray report landing in the House of Commons live.

It’s good for Youngest Child too who is cutting out a pattern for a shirt she’s making. Maybe it’ll rebuild the trust in politicians that’s been trashed, watching the Mother of Parliaments. To be fair, she is interested in things that directly impact her and her friends that have come from Holyrood - “period products in toilets, of course, about time” and free bus travel for teenagers - “oooh!”, but her view of Westminster is woeful.

“It’s the Gray report,” I tell her, “and Boris Johnson facing questions about it. Partygate.”

“OMG have they not had that yet. They’ve been on about that for weeks.”

“It’s out but doesn’t say much, apart from confirming parties. Now we have to wait for the police report.”

“What? But it says they had parties.”

She puts down her scissors and watches as Ian Blackford accuses Boris Johnson of misleading parliament and the Speaker tries to get him to retract.

“What’s wrong with saying that?” she says.

“It’s like saying he’s lying and you’re not allowed to say ‘liar’ in the House of Commons.”

“Why not? When the boys have stolen my chocolate and say they haven’t, I call them liars. And if I’ve cropped one of their hoodies into a top and say I haven’t, they can call me a liar. And we have a fight and sort it out. Why can’t you call someone a liar if they think they are? Everyone watching is thinking it,” she says, indignation building.

“I had to have my 18th birthday walking round the park in the rain with YOU, holding one plastic glass of prosecco. And that’s nothing compared to the people who couldn’t go to funerals and be with their family who were dying.”

“Because it’s language unbecoming to the chamber and they’re meant to debate like adults and The Speaker has to make them behave, which is why he’s shouting Order, Order all the time.”

“OMG. The report says they had parties, and he was at them. They should just read those bits out.”

At which point someone does, the shouting erupts again, then The Speaker loses it, looks to someone on his right and says: “Oh shut up!”

“Exacerly,” she says. “Liars.”

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