The obvious choice to lead Labour out of the shadows

As we enter a new year, one’s thoughts turn naturally to resolutions. In response to the horrors of the year left behind, we resolve to start afresh with something as radical as a new hobby, house, or even a different job.

This must have been Ed Miliband’s thinking when he resigned over the weekend but, as usual, no one noticed.

In an interview, Mr Miliband said: “I used to wear big glasses and nasty jumpers. I had to get rid of them. There are times I wish I could just wear them again and not have to worry about collars and stuff. Life would be much more simple.”

This barely coded announcement of a return to academia for Mr Miliband (where such jumpers are highly sought after) was greeted with snide jokes, but I believe we must, for once, take the man seriously – despite his “Blackbusters” gaffe on Friday.

He is not the only one who thinks his time his up. Former supporter and Labour “guru” Lord Glasman has just accused Miliband of having “no strategy, no narrative and little energy” and his party’s economic policy is, subtly enough, “crap”.

Mr Miliband is finished, which means the leadership of the British Labour Party is vacant once again.

As it happens, I believe I have just the man for the job. Scottish, strong-willed, and a former economist to boot, this gentleman has decades of political experience both north and south of the Border.

No, not Gordon Brown, but our very own dear leader, First Minister Alex Salmond.

Before you criticise my position as insane, let me explain why Mr Salmond would be the ideal candidate to run Britain as Prime Minister, pleasing both English and Scottish folk alike.

Firstly, Mr Salmond understands the British parliamentary system better than most. As reported in The Scotsman just a few days ago, he was briefly evicted for shouting down Nigel Lawson during his 1988 Budget speech and held a seat in Westminster far longer than Ed Balls, Yvetter Cooper or Ed Miliband ever have.

Secondly, he can deal with the right-wing press, an attribute held only by our most successful prime ministers. Mr Salmond has interestingly sympathetic opinion pieces written about him seemingly every day by dyed-in-the-wool unionists.

Compare the following, for example, with the aforementioned unkindness of Lord Glasman: one commentator called Mr Salmond a “formidable operator”, a newspaper named him “Briton of the Year” (ironically enough), and another political pundit described the SNP and its leader as: “Nothing less than a fully developed religion, and its guiding star is now in the ascendant.”

With enemies like these, Mr Salmond has little to worry about when he negotiates the odd European crisis or is told where America is hoping to invade next by President Obama.

Finally, and crucially, any Salmond premiership of the UK would allow him to achieve his most cherished dream: full independence for Scotland. Without need to listen to judges or referenda, Mr Salmond could rewrite the constitution as needed and – with executive privilege and the power of the whip – the Labour Party would fall into line.

Salmond for PM? Labour should be so lucky.