The more I gambled, the more I lost and the more extreme the consequences were

Chances is a service run by Cyrenians for people at risk of homelessness because of gambling | contributed

I became addicted to gambling at a very young age. I was working in a newsagent as a teenager, and they were paying me in scratch cards. One day, I won £50. That was a lot of money back then – way more than I would have made if I was being paid an hourly wage. That was what hooked me, that feeling that you could win a lot of money in a small amount of time. I didn’t grow up with much, and suddenly I could afford the things I needed.

It didn’t take long for it to start to get out of control. I moved on from scratch cards and started going to a local arcades and book makers. I was soon losing more money than I was winning, so to get myself out of debt I would steal from work. This isn’t something I’m proud of, but I felt like I had no other options.

The more I gambled, the more I lost and the more extreme the consequences were. I became homeless, spending time in temporary accommodation. I got involved in elaborate fraud schemes, to get myself out of debt. To avoid being caught, I left Scotland and moved about a lot. I tried to quit gambling – I even went overseas to try and escape it – but wherever I went the addiction followed me.

After escaping the authorities for the best part of a decade, I finally got caught and was sent to prison for two years. It was in prison that I got into Gamblers Anonymous and I’ve been going along for the best part of 15 years. It’s been an incredible support, but it’s been very hard – not just for me but for my wife and kids.

The other day, my wife said to me “It’s really hard to trust that every time you leave the house, you aren’t going to get sucked in again.” I understand what she means, because I also have that fear. I don’t think I’d be telling the truth if I said that I am never going to relapse again and that scares me. I have so much to live for and gambling can take you to such a dark place.

There is soon going to be a compulsory levy on gambling companies, which will raise millions of pounds a year to combat gambling harm. My hope is that that will fund more programmes like Chances - a service run by Cyrenians for people at risk of homelessness because of gambling - that has been supporting me. They have support available for my wife too. Addiction of any kind is a lonely, complex illness and it is incredibly helpful to be able to speak to people who are trained to understand.

I would also like to see more effective measures put in place to stop problem gamblers from gambling. For example, if book makers had memberships like casinos, it would be much easier to place restrictions on problem gamblers. A small step, that could really reduce harm for a lot of people.

Like many people with addiction struggles – my gambling felt like my solution to not having enough. Not enough money, or self-esteem. If people take away one thing from this, is that there are much there are much better solutions to your problems than relying on damaging addictions. There is support out there and I urge you to seek it out.

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