Opinion: Janet Christie's Mum's the Word - is premature domestication of teenagers a side-effect of Covid?
You’ve got to feel sorry for the younger generation. They should be out clubbing and festivaling and going to gigs but Covid has rendered them middle aged before their time.
It’s early Sunday afternoon when I get a call from Youngest Child, at Other Parent’s.
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Hide Ad“I just had to phone you right now about this,” she says breathlessly.
This sounds promising. Was there an Empty that got out of hand? A crisis I need to swoop in and help with? Some sage advice I could be dispensing along with one of my annoying stories about how when I was her age I was summering in Morocco having told my mother I was going to Spain (I’m recommending such behaviour, but I’m glad I got to live a little before kids and Covid, and anyway my mother was sanguine when I got back bearing gifts from the bazaar)?
“It’s about stains,” she says.
“Ha! Oh good,” I say and laugh with anticipation.
“It’s white vinegar on the stain and then take half a lemon and use it like a scrub on top of that,” she says.
“Have you spilt something on Other Parent’s heirloom carpet?” I laugh. “That’s terrible, you really shouldn’t have people round when he’s out. Was it very noisy and out of hand? Just wait till he finds out. Remember that time you didn’t get to go and see your team winning the Cup because you’d had people round when he was out and the neighbours grassed you up? I wouldn’t like to be in your trainers when…”
“No, no, what are you talking about? Nobody was here. I’m not going to let crowds of people in to my HOMES. Not people that might disrespect them anyway. And especially during Covid. No, this is for YOUR sofa, Mother.
“My sofa?”
“That stain on the arm.”
“Oh yeah, I just threw a throw over it, sorted.”
“Well I’ve been thinking about it, and Googling, and I’m sure this would shift it. Go and try it now,” she says.
“Do I have to?”
“Yes. Phone me back to tell me how you get on.”
Sigh. Is this what the younger generation has come to, thanks to Covid? I predict a massive backlash of party animal behaviour when they hit middle age. I just hope I’m around to join in.
And the stain? Yeah, yeah, I’m going to do it right now, honest.
