Leader: Society won’t miss cool cops

THERE’s Frank “Ponch” Poncherello in Chips, Lieutenant Horatio Caine in CSI Miami, even Telly Savalas in Kojak.

All the cool cops in American police dramas get to wear groovy shades. As for clothes, who can forget Crockett and Tubbs with their rolled-up jacket sleeves in Miami Vice?

And what US crime drama on TV is complete without at least one shot of a podgy beat cop tucking into a doughnut or a pastrami bagel to keep up his strength while doing his rounds on the mean streets?

All of these are icons of TV policing from across the pond – but as far as Fife police force is concerned, they are now not acceptable.

Senior officers have issued an edict banning mirror shades, eating in police cars – and even rolled up-pullover sleeves. Academics say the ban on mirrored glasses will help reduce “intimidating” policing. That’s good. But its biggest advantage to the tax-paying public is that they will no longer have to suffer the tragic sight of a constable in Methil acting out his fantasy that he is really in Manhattan getting all street with the perps. However there are some parts of policing unique to Scotland that need to be protected; shiny, ill-fitting suits for detective constables, that unmistakable “don’t mess with me, sonny boy” look beloved of desk sergeants and, of course, the curious use of language such as “I was proceeding in a westerly direction”.