Lannan Bakery: Edinburgh's hottest new bakery and the ridiculous abuse its staff endure - Stephen Jardine

Why was the baker fed up? Because people got too kneady. I realise that’s unlikely to win best joke at the Fringe but it will probably get some approval at Edinburgh’s hottest new bakery.

Lannan in Stockbridge opened this summer to the same kind of reaction that greeted the discovery of the Covid vaccine. I’ve visited twice to put the fuss to the test but on both occasions they had sold out of everything. Good for them. The pastries pictured on social media look delicious and it is great to see any new, small business thriving. Especially when just a few years ago it looked like traditional bakeries couldn’t survive the competition from the cut price bread and cakes sold in supermarkets.

Instead the craft bakery scene is now thriving with Scotland boasting some of the best. But that’s not enough for the grown up brats who walk among us.

Last week Lannan owner Darcie Maher revealed she’d been verbally abused by customers because of her success.

One woman actually came around the counter to shout at her and tell her she “wasn’t trying hard enough” because she’d sold out of croissants. Another man said arriving too late for was “the biggest disappointment of his life”. Wait until you find out what goes into a football ground Scotch Pie mate.

I like owner Darcie as success has clearly not gone to her head. "I'd like to remind everyone that we're just serving pastry, it isn't meant to be so painfully stressful and upsetting. There are so many things going on in the world to be angry about. Edinburgh is full of wonderful bakeries, there's enough pastry to go around”, she responded.

So just what is wrong with these people? As Darcie says, the world is bursting with tragedy and injustice and yet people are having tantrums because they can’t get the pastries they want. A toddler would be embarrassed by their behaviour.

Half the blame for this lies with lockdown where people seemed to forget how to act in public. It’s reflected in the soaring number of incidents where retail and hospitality staff have been abused, both physically and verbally. Society only works when our behaviour fits around other people. Too much isolation has left some people ill equipped to deal with others.

Surprise, surprise, the other issue here is social media. It’s algorithm is driven by the fear of missing out. Cue the usual narcissists who queue for an hour from 7.30am so they can post vacuous images of them wolfing down croissants safe in the knowledge that by the time you like and subscribe, the place will be sold out.

The end result is a frenzy that leaves people who live their lives on social media feeling their very existence depends on securing a pastry from a specific shop. Unfortunately, since they were up until 2am in their pants liking posts from that amazing new pop up fly tipping place in Granton, they’ve slept in and the sold out sign is up again. The only option left then seems to be seething range.

But remember what Darcie said. In fact, Lannan is a bit of a daft name. They should just change the sign above the door to “We’re Just Serving Pastry” then even the most self centred baker botherer would surely get the message.