Kindness should be at the heart of all we do as a nation – Rachel Cackett

We must re-assess what matters most in the ‘new normal’, writes Rachel Cackett

Samaritans are there for anyone struggling to cope, day or night.

Even before Covid-19 was upon us, something was shifting. I remember commenting to a colleague, after the Scottish Parliament debate on the Care Review in February, that it was quite something to hear politicians spending an afternoon debating the importance of love. The #BeKind movement was gaining ground as so many people were touched by the death of Caroline Flack. The national value of “kindness, dignity and compassion for all” underpinned the new Scottish Performance Framework. And CarnegieUK Trust had found that “people in Scotland report higher levels of kindness – both giving and receiving – than any other jurisdiction in the UK and Ireland”.

And now, here we are: Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 in the middle of pandemic. A pandemic which will be putting strain on us all, each in our own ways; felt by some more than others. And the theme of this awareness week is: Kindness.

Just as kindness was inching toward centre stage in our civic space in Scotland, the need to be kind to ourselves and others became more urgent as the pandemic took hold. Fear and anxiety can cause the sorts of contractions in our bodies and emotions that make kindness much harder to give and receive.

Rachel Cackett, Executive Director of Samaritans Scotland shares kindness is key to staying connected and moving forward

Kindness isn’t just an easy, fuzzy feeling wrapped up in some nice words. Kindness requires action in moments of choice – sometimes hard choices.

Across the country, we are seeing people are acting with kindness in self-organising community support for those most at risk from Covid and for households where someone is ill. Key workers are getting up each day and going out to keep us safe, connected and supplied with essentials. And we have been challenged to prioritise self-care, even on those days when the pressures can mean kindness to ourselves can feel lost at the bottom of a pile of priorities. Many of us are walking, biking or exercising to YouTube more than we ever have.

And I see this focus on active kindness in my own organisation. People who choose to become a Samaritans volunteer offer kindness on every single shift in the act of listening, without judgement, to anyone who is struggling to cope.

Since Covid began, Samaritans has offered emotional support over 300,000 times. That will include many, many people in Scotland who have chosen to act by reaching out, seeking support for themselves when things are feeling tough or at crisis point.

Sometimes, being kind in the moment isn’t easy, especially during this uncertain time. We’ll need to be kind to ourselves when we don’t quite manage to live up to our own aspirations. And we can all know those moments when we desperately want a little kindness to be shown to us. None of us can do this alone, particularly when we are worried about our families and friends, our income, our education, our health. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Samaritans is seeing a rise in anxiety among callers to our service.

Samaritans is still here 24/7 though, offering a listening ear to those who need us. But we also know that not everyone finds it easy to talk, and for many finding a private space to make a call can be really hard just now. So, during this Mental Health Awareness Week we are also launching a new, free self-help app, which lets you track your mood and find practical tips and exercises to help you cope when things feel difficult or stressful. It’s available via our website and you can use it anytime, anywhere.

We’ve increased the amount of information and support on our website too. This includes tips on how to start a conversation with someone you think might be struggling, because we know people can sometimes feel unsure of how to reach out or start talking. We’ve supported the Scottish Government’s Clear Your Head campaign, because we know how much it matters to look after our mental wellbeing just now. And we are encouraging people to share what kindness means to them on social media using the #CupOKindness hashtag.

We all need practical and mutual support sometimes to take action to be kind to ourselves and others. And that goes beyond our personal lives. Before Covid, there was a growing movement in Scotland to put kindness at the heart of what we do as a nation. It’s crucially important that as we start talk about the “new normal”, as we re-assess what matters and what our country might look like now, that we remind ourselves, and all those with power to shape our future, that it’s our kindness – not fear – that keeps us in positive, hopeful connection with others and ourselves.

Rachel Cackett, Executive Director of Samaritans Scotland

If you are finding things tough Samaritans is here to listen, day or night. Call for free on 116 123, email [email protected] or visit samaritans.org for more information and support.