John Gibson: Titter ye not, our Abi’s back

Stirs the memory of that wintry night at a charity ball in 2003, when a fire alarm saw the pair of us turfed out to the back of Murrayfield Stadium, awaiting the brigade.

A shivering be-gowned Abi as I recall and, like I said then, for me it was every hack’s dream short of finding Lord Lucan.

I’ve dined out on the experience so I’m taking more than a passing interest in what she’s about now at 36. She’s got herself together.

Given up drugs and drink and she’s telling me: “I sold my soul but I’m buying it back.” Talking as a actor who auditioned herself into the soap.

I couldn’t bear to see the bubble burst.

Can it be true?

... The Pope this year will have to start to pay property tax. The skint Italian Government will sting the Vatican for 600 million euros a year. Presumably His Holiness is not amused.

... Immigrants taking the driving test here are having interpreters in the back seat, funded by us, the tax taxpayers.

... The British Army and Royal Air Force will stage joint war games in beleaguered Shandwick Place, South St David Street and Princes Street. Be sure to duck if you have a shell burst or a jet scream overhead.

... That Jeremy Clarkson branded Gordon Brown “a one-eyed Scottish idiot’’ and Brown has trousered a million and a half from his lecturing gigs.