John Gibson: Those bats, have they gone batty?

You thought you’ve heard it all. No, you haven’t. They’re building bridges for BATS to help them cross roads.

No kidding, the Government has rubber-stamped the idea in England and Wales, each “bridge” costing up to £160,000. Telegraph poles with wires and mesh strung between. Well, fiendish contraptions like this helped us win the war, did they not?

But scientists at Leeds University are sceptical. Says one professor there: “I suspected these bridges would not work and our study proves that.’’

What it does prove, if proof were needed, is that the Government is forever plagued with nutters. Plain batty.

Shorts story

Perishing cold outside of late but a professor of research (pain in the butt, most of them) at University College London is upbeat about the UK’s climate change.

Warning that temperatures could rise ten per cent due to “urban island effect”, he adds: “Offices should look at flexible working arrangements, not being so tight about office clothing.”

Workers should be allowed to wear shorts to the office and employers should allow their staff to take afternoon naps.

So we can look forward to the siesta. See what it’s done for Spain. I have to say I’ve seen certain of my colleagues enjoy a sly siesta in deep mid- winter.

Now, what did I do with those shorts?

Afterwords . .

. . . Ringo Starr’s birthplace in impoverished Liverpool has been saved from the bulldozer after a “public campaign”. Why?