John Gibson: Sales are far from patchy for Gordon

I’m in St Andrew Square talking to Harvey Nichols boss Gordon Drummond and a controversial mail shot showing a model with a damp patch on her trousers and the slogan “Try to Contain Your Excitement”. Not quite Harvey Nicks, if you follow.

Not quite Harvey Nicks, if you follow.

“I saw it in London, before it went out to the customers. It was designed as a bit of fun and it’s old news,” he explained. “That’s the way the majority took it, a few thought it was not in the best possible taste.

“Up here it was notification of our three-week summer sale. A very bountiful sale, as was the month of June. Up on last year’s.

“It’s much tougher now and we need to be a lot sharper. I’ve told the staff we’ve got to be sharper.” You mean you’ve had to put a rocket up their bums? “I wouldn’t put it that way,” he said, deftly tucking the damp patch under the carpet.

This the first of a two-part mini series from the Square featuring Mr Drummond.

It’s Pointless

The oohs and aahs grew louder and more prolonged as the jackpot in Pointless soared towards five thousand. The most infuriating garbage, so futile, runs on endlessly. A waste of license-payers money.
Habitually, though, there is a consoling word for the losers: “You do get to take home our Pointless trophy.” Hands up if you’ve got one. Don’t be ashamed to say so.

Afterwords . .

. . . John Lennon’s killer, Mark Chapman, has had his latest appeal for parole knocked back. We all know who shot John Lennon. But do you know who shot Liberty Valance? Do you care?