John Gibson: Is Cramond the place to watch?

You may prefer to steer clear of the aurora borealis, suspecting it’s one of those dreadful ‘‘social diseases’’ you keep reading about. First check it out with your GP. Your chemist can perhaps help.

Meantime, space scientists are mapping the best places to view the AB, otherwise known as the Northern Lights (of auld Aiberdeen, you’ve heard the song). Barassie Beach Troon is one.

I’m seldom over there. What chance Cramond Beach? Mind how you go, Don’t get caught out by the tide down there, it’s dodgy.

Gordon frown

He’ll never change. Gordon Brown, a Prime Minister from the yellowing pages of a limp Labour government, has frittered 20 grand of his parliamentary expenses on air travel between Edinburgh and London. That’s your money.

I might, if I may, remind you that reportedly Brown has spoken only three times since May 2010. Gordon’s not for a swallie when he’s in the air, though, I hear. Frittered frankly might be deemed an inappropriate word. Canny with the coppers, our former PM.

Pen this date in

Zappy Zin Craig, the broadcaster whose style registered high on the Richter when she was on air in these parts, has been back in Edinburgh from her London home for a week, taking in the Fringe and warning that she’ll return here October/November to launch her book Poizin Pen. Sounds lethal to me.