Janet Christie's Mum's the Word - New year, new me, new language

As Youngest Child prepares to go to abroad, it’s time to learn some French

Mum's the Word. Pic: Adobe

It’s a new year, a new me, another chance for a fresh start and plans for self-improvement.

There will be more exercise, or even just persevering with the daily lunging and crunching with my online pals that I started this summer because unexpectedly I’ve started to like it.

The vaping will have to stop now that I’m the ONLY person standing outside doing it so there’s no chat or antics to be had with other smokers or vapers, apart from which it’s become a TV shorthand for being low rent, the cheek of it, and even that’s on the decline since Liz McDonald’s stilettos clacked over the cobbles one last time as she disappeared from Coronation Street in a cloud of Passionfruit Guava.

And it’s time to learn a bit of French in advance of Youngest Child’s departure for France where she’ll be studying for a term and she’s charged me with accompanying her when she first goes, mainly for my luggage allocation I would think - she doesn’t travel light.

So far my plan to revive my O Grade French has involved watching Ambika Mod in One Day (there’s a wonderful bit in Paris where she lives in a garret writing a book and sits in cafes reading Proust, in French, which attracts a sexy Parisian boyfriend - dans mes rèves).

I’ve also been reminiscing about when I took Middle Child there as punishment for messing up his French prelim (I know, but that’s how I roll, and it was amazing because we saw Beyoncé crossing the Champs Elysee and Mick Jagger’s teeny tiny trousers in the Hard Rock Cafe, plus I’m sure Middle learnt his lesson. Peut être.)

The pressure is on because Youngest started her daily lessons online back in December and she has a vice-like memory on account of her dyslexia, so is progressing nicely.

“Have YOU learnt any French yet?” she says.

“Yves Saint Laurent,” I say, in a bid to deflect her by talking fashion. “There’s a museum about him in Paris we could maybe go to when I visit.”

“Any actual French besides clothing brands?” she says. “And I won’t be in Paris, I’ll be miles away. So back to learning the language. Start with supermarket and directions words - useful stuff.”

She’s right, I’ll start with the app tomorrow, but right now I’m going to watch Call my Agent. What? En français bien sûr.

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