How Eamonn Holmes skewered the ‘state narrative’ like a seven-year-old child – Kevan Christie
I’ve been on a quest for answers this week folks in my duty as a key, key worker and top newshound, providing a local service to the community in these times of crisis.
Having watched Eamonn Holmes spark controversy on ITV’s This Morning by casting doubts on media reports refuting the so-called myth that 5G causes Covid-19 I have endeavored to carry out my own research into the matter.
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Hide AdThe theory linking coronavirus with 5G, used in mobile phone networks has led to folk setting the masts on fire and committing wanton acts of vandalism not seen since the halcyon days of the old corporation school buses.
Holmes made his original remarks, which have led to more than 400 complaints to TV regulator Ofcom, during a chat with the programme’s consumer editor Alice Beer, who dismissed the theory as “not true and incredibly stupid”.
This did not deter the silver-tongued presenter who spoke of “mainstream media” and the “state narrative” in a barely disguised audition to be Donald Trump’s next press secretary.
I have followed Eamonn’s career closely, dear readers, since he first sprang to my attention hosting the Miss Northern Ireland gala special in 1985 – which is worth checking out on YouTube if you’ve got any spare time on your hands.
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Hide AdI immediately thought “this kid has potential” and admired the way he seamlessly slotted into the compere role, refusing to be overawed by his co-presenter, the Irish singing sensation Dana, who was then at the height of her fame.
He did such a good job Ulster Television gave him the gig again in 1986. At that point, I knew he was destined for greater things and sure enough Holmes’s nascent talent saw him cross the water to forge a glittering career in television.
Daily constitutional
Eamonn now presents This Morning with his lovely wife Ruth on Fridays and during school holidays and can step in at a moment’s notice in the ‘unlikely’ event of a global pandemic. ‘This gun’s for hire.’
I therefore consider him to be a reliable source and nodded my head sagely in agreement when he called out the media for their concerted campaign of rubbishing the theory that 5G causes the virus “when they don’t know it’s not true”. Exactly, “what about ye?”
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Hide AdThis prompted some extensive internet research which yielded negative results when I typed “5G masts in Fife ‘n’ that” into the internet search field.
However, undeterred by this minor setback, I set off on my daily constitutional and headed past the statue of footballer Jim Baxter in Hill O’Beath on my way to the big (ish) Morrisons in Cowdenbeath determined to spot one of these offending masts.
Although my trip yielded four wind turbines and an electricity python – sorry, pylon – that I swear was giving me the eye, I couldn’t find anything that looked like a coronavirus-spreading 5G mast. But it’s still early days.
Of course the usual smart-alec experts waded in trying their best to make Eamonn look bad, as tends to happen when someone has the cojones to challenge the dominant hegemony and their media ‘bagmen’.
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Hide AdOne loser expert who shall rename nameless – as quite frankly I don’t see why Professor Adam Finn, from the University of Bristol, should get any more publicity – had the gall to challenge a man who has more than 40 years broadcasting experience under his belt.
He said: “When Mr Holmes invokes the ‘state narrative’, I imagine he is wishing to appear to support the broad principle of independent scrutiny of government policy.
“That is the job of the opposition and also of scientific experts who are able to evaluate and interpret available evidence. The problem with his statement is that it relates to a yarn for which not a shred of evidence exists. It’s no different than him asserting that it’d be wrong to dismiss the possible value of powdered unicorn horn to ward off Covid-19 ‘because it suits the state narrative.’”
How many times? Check your facts!
Well, I have one question for Mr Powdered Unicorn Horn Fancypants: how do you know it’s NOT true?
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Hide AdLike Holmes, I reserve the right to invoke the spirit of my seven-year-old self in a bid to win the unwinnable, defend the indefensible and make a total arse of oneself in front of millions on national television.
There are those among us who were obviously triggered by Eamonn’s dog-whistle sounding a clarion call to attack the network.
This included a former Glasgow gangster who, it was reported, offered a £1,000 reward to the first person to destroy a 5G mast in Scotland. He posted: “I’ll pay 1k reward for any1 that smokes a 5G mast in Glesga.”
All well and good but he didn’t specify if this was to be done during your state-alloted one-hour exercise period or on an essential trip to the shops.
The devil as always is in the detail.
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Hide AdSo let’s take stock of what we’ve learnt from this sorry episode. Certainly there’s a lesson in there for fledgling journalists and as Priti Patel might say “if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you three hundred thousand and thirty-four, nine hundred and seventy-four thousand times to check your facts”.
I’ll leave you with the oft-misquoted words of the indomitable Mr Spock from Star Trek “it is not life as we know or understand it”.
Stay safe and wash yer hands.
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