How Donald Trump forced me into talking about politics – Kevan Christie

No one gets free pass for Donald Trump’s bizarre policies and odious treatment of a grieving family, writes Kevan Christie.
Donald Trump surprised the grieving family of teenager Harry Dunn by saying the American woman suspected of being involved in the road accident that caused his death was in the next room (Picture: Nicholas Kamm/AFP via Getty Images)Donald Trump surprised the grieving family of teenager Harry Dunn by saying the American woman suspected of being involved in the road accident that caused his death was in the next room (Picture: Nicholas Kamm/AFP via Getty Images)
Donald Trump surprised the grieving family of teenager Harry Dunn by saying the American woman suspected of being involved in the road accident that caused his death was in the next room (Picture: Nicholas Kamm/AFP via Getty Images)

Regular readers of this column, including some who are not close family members, have been asking when I intend to write about “the politics” again.

I must confess it’s a subject I tend to shy away from given the sheer number of political commentators out there in a crowded field and my complete lack of knowledge on the subject – but that has proven no barrier to anything I’ve written about in the past. And, following an email last week from someone called Bert fi Oxgangs, asking how he could join the ‘campaign’ to ban dugs from libraries on the back of my seminal piece on the topic, one feels emboldened to put pen to paper.

I’ll start and finish with Donald Trump.

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First off, no-one gets a pass if they voted for him – let’s get that cleared up straight away. You can’t claim not to be racist and/or sexist and vote for a guy who clearly is – sorry, not sorry.

Granted Hillary Clinton was a marmite candidate but no amount of chatter about so-called liberal elites gets anyone in the US a ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card for casting their vote in favour of the Trumpet. Doesn’t matter if you’re an unemployed steelworker from the Midwest who loves a ‘Make America Great Again, Drain the Swamp’ slogan or a brain surgeon saving lives, you’re still complicit in the tsunami of doughnutery that followed his election victory.

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Harry Dunn's parents reject offer to meet Anne Sacoolas after Donald Trump talks

They love a wee slogan these populist types, we have our own version here of the ‘Get Brexit Done’ variety, masterminded by evil tracksuit wearing, coffee cup dodging, genius maverick Dominic Cummings.

Cute little soundbites easily digested by the masses who can’t be bothered reading anything about a subject that isn’t on Facebook. I’m still waiting to hear back from garden centre giant Dobbies as to whether my ‘Make Time for Traybakes’ pitch is a goer – fingers crossed, could be a nice earner.

Impeachment, isolationism and Bonaparte

However, I digress and there’s serious work to be done here, dear reader. Let us examine the last fortnight which has been fairly typical by Trumpian standards.

Against a backdrop of impeachment proceedings based on him asking Ukraine for handers in providing information on Democratic rival Joe Biden and his son Hunter, the President withdrew US forces from Syria, thus sparking predictable chaos in the region. In one fell swoop, Trump brought the policy of isolationism back to the fore. This was popular during the years of The Great Depression when the US passed the Neutrality Acts but has not been seen since the first Zero attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941.

This shift towards non-interventionism on Trump’s part is a bit rich given current US defence spending stands at around $690 billion per year, four times more than nearest rival China, and is likely based on them ‘getting involved’ a bit in global affairs and wars and that.

The US withdrawal was accompanied by the predictable tweet with Trump posting: “Anyone who wants to assist Syria in protecting the Kurds is good with me, whether it is Russia, China or Napoleon Bonaparte. I hope they all do great, we are 7,000 miles away!”

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God knows why he dragged my own personal hero into this, perhaps he thinks ‘Napoleon Bonaparte’ is a country or he may have met a guy dressed as Napoleon in a Vegas casino – who knows?

Anyway, old Nappers was in the region from 1798-1801 during the French campaign in Egypt and the Levant. He also died in 1821 but did pop up again in the movie Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure in 1989 where he went ten-pin bowling, so this may be how he first came to Trump’s attention.

I assumed the extent of Trump’s military knowledge stretched only to the work of Colonel Sanders and his Kentucky Fried Chicken campaigns but maybe he’s been swotting up.

Trump could be labouring under the false impression that American troops would have to make their own way to trouble spots, perhaps having to turn up at airports two and a half hours early like Ryanair passengers in Edinburgh.

Remember The Alamo

If that’s the case, then someone close to the Prez should tell him they’ve got their own airforce and flight times which reduces the waiting period for the soldiers to check in.

This reluctance to travel is going to lead to a hell of a lot of special forces troops kicking their heels at home with no-one to shoot, save for the odd raccoon and grizzly bear.

I fear this will be bad for the Mexicans as Trump seeks wars closer to home, possibly within driving distance of military bases in Texas to cut down on things like travel expenses and carbon emissions.

Mexico only spends $7 billion on defence but two words spring to mind – The Alamo. I’m not sure where the 11 nuclear-powered aircraft carriers currently employed by the US Navy fit into Trump’s new defence strategy of not fighting anyone – but the idea of floating casinos has been touted. Perhaps Rod Stewart could remake his video for Sailing using one of their ships?

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Part two of the President’s latest horror show saw him host the family of teenager Harry Dunn who was killed in a road accident with a car owned by Anne Sacoolas, an American with diplomatic immunity who returned to the US after the incident.

On this occasion, Trump decided to give the grieving family the full Cilla Black Surprise Surprise treatment with an offer to meet Mrs Sacoolas who he revealed was in the next room.

Needless to say this went down like a lead balloon with Harry’s parents rejecting the “bombshell” invitation, saying they felt “a little ambushed” as Trump hit a new low in the constant gameshow of his life.

This kind of odious behaviour is beyond parody and shows why, sometimes, we all have to talk about “the politics” even if we don’t really want to.

Anyway, that’s my political thesis over for now folks and I must say it’s given me a thirst for the campaign life – Elizabeth Warren in the White House and Trump in the slammer would mark a good beginning.