Eyebrow lamination - don't frown on fun - Janet Christie

Why brows matter @JanetChristie2 Mum's the Word

Brows are big right now

Death or eyebrows? No it’s not a lockdown version of the “Cheese or Orgasms?” game in which you decide which you would give up for life if forced to choose. (For those who think this is a trivial question, great minds don’t agree. Super brainy Prof Brian Cox renounced cheese, after we’d had a long discussion about black holes, the universe and everything.)

So today my choice is whether to think about death or eyebrows, thanks to Youngest Child, who appears as I’m scanning headlines.

“I know times are dark,” I tell her, “but there’s always a glimmer of light somewhere.” Annoying I know, but you’ve got to make an effort.

“Listen. Dark matter – Edinburgh Uni says it’s more evenly spread across the universe than previously thought. They’ve used the Very Large Telescope – that’s what it’s called ha, ha – to look at more than 30 million galaxies. It might be invisible, but dark matter matters... makes up a quarter of the universe…

“Mum!”

“What?”

“I’ve managed an appointment to get my brows laminated… But it means three buses…”

If scientists can check 30 million galaxies I don’t think catching three buses is a big ask.

“Could you…” she asks.

“Aw OK then.” Youngest and her pals are all rattled by events, but eyebrows are a big (fluffy) thing at the moment.

Also, have I been staring at a screen for hours on end? Yes!

Has WFH (working from home) become LAW (living at work)? Yes!

Would I like to know what eyebrow lamination is? Not rea... I mean Yes!

Eyebrows it is. I’ll think about death and the universe another time.

“But you can’t come in, sorry. Social distancing,” she says.

“Perfect. Nothing I’d like better than to sit outside and stare into space,” I say. I can ponder the mysteries of the universe – dark matter, eyebrow lamination... it’ll take my mind off the other thing.

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