Drumlanrig: Pilton man, McLetchie and Mrs Merton say No

LOQUACIOUS Labour MSP for Lothians Neil Findlay (below) was holding forth on the subject of the pro-Union “Better Together” campaign last week at the Edinburgh People’s Festival Debate.

First he had a dig at Alistair Darling (“It is Pilton that Alistair stays in isn’t it?”), before noting wryly how he was on the same side as “comrade” David McLetchie, the former Scottish Tory leader. As for the launch itself, he continued: “We got treated to the stirring rhetoric of the said Mr Darling and then Annabel Goldie playing Mrs Merton, interviewing ‘normal Scots’ about what’s important about the beloved Union. Why any self-respecting ‘normal Scot’ would want to speak to Annabel Goldie I’ve no idea.” “Hugely embarrassing”, says the SNP.


Slasher Danny saved by boundary omission

One man who has particular cause to breathe a sigh of relief over the Clegg-Cameron bust-up on Lords reform is the Lib Dem leader’s best chum, Danny Alexander. The Inverness MP has, as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, not exactly won over the hearts of the Lib Dem faithful with his slasher act in high office. So a boundary reform which looked set to merge his own seat with neighbouring Ross, Skye and Lochaber (proprietor: Mr C Kennedy), spelt the certain death of Mr Alexander’s career.

Fortunately, Cleggers failed to sort out Lords Reform with Cameron – and has hit back by refusing to support the boundary reforms. Now all Danny has to do is face the voters. Gulp.

Expletives all counted out and in by officials

The robust language used by the Jocks serving in Scottish regiments was faithfully imitated in the award-winning play Black Watch, which Alex Salmond was so keen to take “Dear Sir Rupert” Murdoch to when it went to New York.

The frequency of Anglo-Saxon terms was of grave concern, reveals correspondence obtained by a Freedom of Information request. When discussing the allocation of tickets to schools and under 16s, one civil servant was moved to point out that there were 48 “c***ts” and a million “f***s”.

Cheeky court outing warms BBC’s cockles

A clever juxtaposition of stories on BBC News Scotland’s website was evident on Friday.

The latest travails of Scotland’s most famous nudist were reported underneath the heading: “Rambler appears naked in court”.

Beside that article was the unrelated but apt headline: “Experts tackle illegal cockling”.