Drumlanrig: Laughter over Sturgeon’s script gaff

At First Minister’s Questions, Sturgeon was asked by Jim Eadie, SNP MSP for Edinburgh Southern, what steps the Scottish Government was taking to promote Scotland as a film and television location.

“We have no current plans,” replied Sturgeon, before realising that she was singing off an entirely different hymn sheet than her colleague.

“Oh sorry, I am on the wrong question,” she admitted as the Holyrood chamber erupted into laughter. Having been caught out, she regained her footing and assured Eadie that plenty was being done.

PM adds insult to Yorkshire injury

DAVID Cameron’s apology for his unflattering “joke” about Yorkshire people overshadowed a far better gag the Prime Minister told at the expense of the white rose county.

On his visit to Leeds, he was lambasted when he was unwittingly overheard rehearsing a question on regional devolution by quipping: “We just thought people in Yorkshire hated everyone else, we didn’t realise they hated each other so much.”

What did not receive the same coverage was the story he told of a Yorkshire husband who commissioned a stone mason to carve “Lord She Was Thine” on his late wife’s gravestone.

After the job was done, it was with considerable distress that the husband noticed the mason had made a spelling mistake.

Carved on the grave stone was the epitaph “Lord She Was Thin”.

“You’ve left off the ‘E’,” said the grieving husband.

The mason duly produced another gravestone. This time inscribed on the front was the legend: “E, She Was Thin.”

Seals of approval from Sir Jamie

SIR Jamie McGrigor (right) is one of the Scottish Parliament’s most ardent lovers of animals.

During a distinguished parliamentary career, the Conservative MSP has spoken up for the birds and the bees, praising them for their roles as pollinators. His naturalist credentials have been further endorsed by his very important role as the species champion for the Marsh Fritillary Butterfly. He has also spoken at Holyrood of his love of fish (especially the ones he catches).

Last week he was paying tribute to seals. “Seals are amazing creatures,” he told MSPs. “I have fond memories of swimming among them with my dog in the sea off Coll and Tiree when I was a youngster.”

Any horned helmet retailers in Fife?

MOVE over Hagar the Horrible, a DNA test has revealed that Gordon Brown is descended from the Vikings.

During the referendum campaign, the former Prime Minister took the test because he was curious about his family’s heritage.

To his “absolute shock and surprise”, he discovered his family originated in Sweden.

Originally called something other than Brown, his ancestors travelled from Scandinavia to the UK in the ninth century. After spending some time in England they moved north to the Scottish Borders, where they were enthusiastic participants in the skirmishing that took place there.

When James VI decided to purge the Borders of troublemakers in the early 17th century, the family moved northwards and adopted the name Brown to hide their true identity.

“In our case they fled to the safest place possible at that time – over the water to Fife. We had to change our name to escape with our lives,” Brown said.

A hearty “Skol” to that, as they say in Kirkcaldy.