Drumlanrig: Hassan | Yousaf

Hassan Rowhani, the former chief nuclear negotiator in the Gulf state, announced his decision to stand for the presidency last week.

Eagle-eyed hacks have already noticed that Rowhani just so happens to be a graduate of Glasgow Caledonian University, where he completed a doctorate in law in the 1970s.

However, according to the website Iran Election Watch, Rowhani only recently changed his biography to recognise his alma mater. Before that, his biog claimed he had attended the – dare we say it – more prestigious Glasgow University. Tut tut Hassan. Shout it loud and proud; you’re a Cally Boy.

Bad form from Soames as Yousaf draws flak

SNP minister Humza Yousaf copped flak last week over his speech at a forum in Doha.

But why no brickbats for the host of the event, Tory MP Nicholas Soames, who declared after the Glaswegian had finished that an English translation of it would be available? At least that’s what we think he said…his plummy vowels are quite hard to comprehend.

At least Yousaf, above, can rest in the knowledge that prejudice against the Scottish accent has long been a fact of life. Radio 4’s Archive programme last week revealed how one English MP had once noted that Keir Hardie had “a heart worthy of heaven, and a voice worthy of hell”. Yousaf isn’t nearly that bad.

How to make light work of being in parliament

MSPs who have been overdoing it in the Holyrood bar and restaurant (you know who you are) have the perfect chance to shed a few pounds.

A free fitness session is to be held in the parliament’s “gym/studio” on 7 June. It would come as a surprise to most parliamentarians that Holyrood has its own gym.

MSPs had better be quick to squeeze into their Lycra, because the “taster” sessions offered by Edinburgh Leisure are limited to eight places.

Empty-headed stuff from Stevenson MSP

The learned SNP MSP Stewart Stevenson has been bamboozling his colleagues with his arcane contributions to parliament – yet again.

Last week, he felt it appropriate to define a vacuum; he was not referring to the contents of his head.

“A vacuum is an entirely theoretical thing, rather like infinity,” he pontificated. “Given the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and the reverse temporal connection that is associated with the Higgs boson, it is impossible for there to be any part of the universe that is wholly empty of matter.” You don’t say?

Drumlanrig: Hassan | Yousaf | Stevenson