Drumlanrig: Ground control to Alex

Independence supporters at the Business for Scotland event were left twiddling their thumbs. Mind you, his performance in the debate seemed to have made a big impression on one attendee – Iain McWhirter (right), the Yes sympathetic commentator who was hosting the event. McWhirter finally announced the First Minister’s arrival by saying Salmond was “back on planet earth”.

Perhaps this was a reference to Salmond’s bizarre mention of alien attack scaremongering during his encounter with Darling.

Jam tomorrow and jam today in the capital

ATTEMPTING to give some sort of explanation to why he was an hour and a half late to his first engagement following the STV debate, Alex Salmond said he had been caught in a traffic jam in St Andrew Square, the splendid Georgian square where he used to work as a RBS economist.

While stuck in the traffic, he described how he spied a £75 million new office development with Standard Life Investments “emblazoned  on it”.

Ever keen to make a political point, Salmond added with heavy sarcasm: “Obviously about to flee the country.”

Voters simply can’t resist Darlings of TV’s big debate

ACCORDING to Alistair Darling’s spinners, the Better Together leader is constantly being congratulated by people for his performance on the STV debate.

A stroll down Sauchiehall Street the other day saw punters coming up to him and shaking his hand.

Alex Salmond also claims that he has been accosted by members of an adoring public.

While out canvassing in the Northfield area of Aberdeen, the First Minister said a young girl rushed out of her house clad in just her pyjamas to ask him if she was eligible to vote.

“She was desperate to know if she was on the voters’ roll,” Salmond said.

Miliband won’t let bacon sandwich bite twice

IT SEEMS that Ed Miliband’s messy encounter with a bacon sandwich will haunt the Labour leader forever.

At a breakfast meeting in Glasgow last week, Miliband remarked: “How nice to see such a nice spread, Danish pastries, sausage sandwiches and bacon sandwiches.”

He then added: “I kept away from the bacon sandwich. I’m sure people will understand why.”