Drumlanrig: Alex Salmond | Mundell Frozen out

Alex Salmond’s memoirs, The Dream Shall Never Die, are the subject of much tittle-tattle in the publishing industry. There is a huge amount of speculation about the size of the former First Minister’s book deal negotiated with Rupert Murdoch-linked publisher William Collins.

Speculation about book sales are less necessary, because publishers can access something called Nielsen Book Data, which records the sales of every book in the UK.

Apparently, last week The Dream Shall Never Die crashed through the 6,700 barrier.

Whether the sales merit the sort of deal negotiated for Salmond is the subject of some conjecture and some are wondering if “Sir Rupert” (as the former First Minister likes to call him) will receive value for money from the literary outpourings of his political pal.

Interesting to note that already, the book has been nicknamed “The Smirk Will Never Fade” by some in the book trade.

MSP on ball so far as family history goes

A NUMBER of Holyrood parliamentarians have sporting antecedents. For example, Tory MSP Cameron Buchanan’s father played “rugger” for Scotland. Now we can add the SNP’s Stewart Stevenson to the list. Last week, Stevenson revealed that his dad played football for Ross County back when the top flight club languished in the Highland League. “I always say to people that accounts for my knowing very little about football,” Stevenson said.

On his father’s footballing abilities, Stevenson wryly remarked: “Of course, Ross County has made substantial progress since my father stopped playing for them.”

…and he really milks his life for anecdotes

HAVING already made reference to his footballing father, Drumlanrig is perhaps guilty of dwelling a bit too much on the public utterances of Stewart Stevenson. But his grasp of the trivia of his own life is so impressive that it seems a shame to ignore his Pooterish ramblings.

Last week, MSPs were discussing the dairy industry when Stevenson declared that “milk is very much woven into my personal history” before complaining that the stuff dished up in his primary school was often curdled.

His fascinating stream of milk-related anecdotes continued when he told Holyrood about the fateful first time he tasted yoghurt. “It was on the pier at Kirkcudbright in August 1966. It was made by one of my fellow sailors with whom I was attending a regatta. It was absolutely terrific stuff.”

Perhaps Stevenson should follow Alex Salmond’s example and write his memoirs.

Mundell Frozen out by future voters

GENERAL elections can be hard pounding when you’re trying to keep your seat. They must be particularly taxing when you face a battle to retain your position as Scotland’s only Tory MP.

The extent of the challenge facing David Mundell, who is defending his Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweeddale seat, became clear last week. Even the local kids are having a go at the Tory Scotland Office minister. After he visited a local school, Mundell was accosted in the street by one of the parents.

The parent told him her daughter was “shocked” that the Tory candidate had admitted to having never seen the Disney film Frozen.