Christmas can be difficult for LGBTQ+ community without the gift of acceptance – Dr Mhairi Crawford

Young people within the LGBTQ+ community increasingly speak of their ‘chosen family’, the people who reinforce their sense of identity and purpose

Christmas is, for many people, a celebration of family togetherness, yet that emphasis on traditional family units, with its portrayal of unconditional love and acceptance running through ad campaigns and greetings cards like a strand of tinsel, can make the festive season uniquely challenging for those in the LGBTQ+ community.

You only have to look at the number of LGBTQ+ young people experiencing homelessness to understand how fraught this time of year can be. For young people unable to secure a welcoming place to spend the festivities, "tidings of comfort and joy" can have a hollow ring. What should be a safe and happy time, instead becomes filled with anxiety. The fact that many third-sector support services are closed over Christmas and New Year often adds to a sense of isolation.

Young people increasingly speak of their “chosen family”, the community they have built around them which reinforces their sense of identity and purpose and gives them the support that a traditional family unit could not. As we all strive to be more inclusive and supportive, recognising that family can look different for different people is one way to validate the place that LGBTQ+ young people find themselves in.

There is a shocking difference in opinion too when it comes to rural and urban-based LGBTQ+ young people, which was highlighted in our Life in Scotland Rural Report, the latest report as part of our biggest piece of research yet. A key finding was that young people in rural areas within our community are frequently confronted with significantly more intense homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia than those in urban environments. Six-in-ten young people based in rural areas feel their local area is not welcoming, compared to four in ten based in urban areas.

This is not to diminish the challenges presented in urban environments, but the prospect of returning to smaller, rural communities, where one might be perceived as an outsider, can be particularly daunting for those who have grown up in such settings. A sense of forced isolation has been a common theme we have seen in our research, with one young person confiding, “people can sometimes tell that you’re different even if they don’t know how and this had led to isolation in my case”.

This can be exacerbated through safe spaces not being available, such as an LGBT group at school or in the community closing over the period. This holiday season, we aim to uplift marginalised youth through community-building efforts like our Highlands digital-friend groups and crisis service partnerships, while also inviting donations through our Big Give Christmas campaign, where matched funding allows each gift to go twice as far in ensuring every LGBTQ+ young person feels safe, seen, and celebrated.

This time of togetherness should be joyful for all. If you know LGBTQ+ family or friends concerned about the holidays, I ask you to show your support loud and clear by being an ally. Offer your home as a haven, a seat at your table, and a glass for them to raise with you this Christmas. The greatest gift we can give one another this year is not one that can be found under the tree, but instead from within ourselves. Give the gift of acceptance.

Dr Mhairi Crawford is chief executive of LGBT Youth Scotland