Cats and Covid not a claws for concern – Bill Jamieson

Do pet cats spread coronavirus? So recent news items have suggested. I have to say this stretched credulity here as Poosie Nancie, our pussy cat, has long taken the notion of social distancing to extremes.

How can cats like Poosie Nancie spread Covid-19 when they are so adept at social distancing?

Never mind the relaxation of lockdown to enable a limited number of people from other households to mix and mingle. No-one here is allowed to enter without intense inspection and scrutiny. Petting and hugging are only allowed on the strictest terms and conditions (when she’s in the mood). Don’t dare attempt to encroach her end of the sofa (that’s nine-tenths of it), or approach her food bowls (other than for replenishment).

On no account whatever are other cats to be allowed in or near our house as the most ferocious spitting, hissing and caterwauling will ensue.

Poosie Nancie is prone to extreme actions to protect her domain and spheres of influence – typically at or near a door. These characteristics are especially pronounced as she is a feisty feline from the Kingdom of Fife. Need I say more?

Absolutely no exception is made for the vet, especially our vet, as he hails from Edinburgh. The cat can detect the Auld Reekie accent a mile off. Even before she is brought into the surgery, he has armed himself with thick protective gloves.

There is also a resort to his young assistant. But even her soft lilt and gentle charms make no difference. It’s war. It’s total war. Not keeping social distance? P-N has turned shielding into a state of permanent alert. Few pets can sit with their backs turned so expressively. I only wish I could find exceptions to her near-permanent regime of glowering armed apprehension.

Oh, yes there are two. One is at 5am when she clambers noisily on to the bed demanding food bowl replenishment. The second is when, in a brief period of affection, she clambers over my laptop keyboard and wants to play with the buttons.

Seldom has a cat taken social isolation to such a heroic level. Chief Medical Officer Chris Whitty would love her.