Brian Monteith: A nightmare scenario as Clegg turns traitor

We are now going over to Ten Downing Street for a broadcast to the nation from the Prime Minister: “Good evening. Late this afternoon I was granted an audience with Her Majesty the Queen where I was able to discuss the financial, social and political challenges that face our nation.

“I do not have to tell you that our country is in the midst of a great economic storm where the burden of debt inherited by this government and carried not just by us but endured by you and your families, through higher costs and even higher taxes, remains a heavy burden that has slowed down our economic recovery.

“I cannot pretend that the prospects for the year ahead are only modest and while I shall strive to do everything within my power to protect the weakest in society, the truth remains that there will be many long cold nights before we begin to see the green shoots of spring and eventually feel the warmth of economic recovery on our backs.

“There is a great deal more that I would like to do to give us all hope, such as cutting your taxes to encourage greater competitiveness, reducing red tape to liberate our businesses, and ending inefficient subsidies to make energy more affordable, but as I have explained to Her Majesty this afternoon, I am limited not just by the burden of debt, but by the heavy weight of working with partners that wish to slow me down, pull me back, and when the going gets tough start talking of mutiny.

“When I entered into coalition government with our Liberal Democrat partners it was in the earnest and sincere hope that we could put our party differences behind us and put the nation first. It was a laudable aim, but I have found that on so many occasions I have had to bite my tongue about what needed to be said, put away my best plans for reform and improvement of your public services and hold back on the radical action that would bring fresh hope to employers and entrepreneurs.

“Such difficulties I had expected and was prepared to persevere with, for I thought that even half of our plans would be far better for the national recovery than to have none of them, or indeed suffer more of the rising debt and suffocating taxes we had witnessed for those past 13 years under my predecessors.

“That was until I returned from the European Summit last week and I found that despite agreeing with my Deputy exactly what I would say and exactly what I would do, I found that both he and his lieutenants were criticising my actions in the media; at first behind closed doors and then openly and in the full gaze of the cameras.

“Let me say now I want nothing but the best for Great Britain, I do not believe we are or ever shall be a pygmy nation. My actions last week protected the jobs not just of a million or so people in London but hundreds of thousands of people in banking, insurance, investment and pensions across our land, from asset management in Aberdeen to car insurance in Cardiff and pension funds in Penzance.

“I could not put their jobs on the line to save a foreign currency that is not our job to save or that we should ever contemplate becoming part of.

“If a Prime Minister can no longer trust his Deputy to be open and honest with him then it is time to find a new one, which in the position of being a coalition means I must go to the country and seek a fresh mandate.

“I therefore tendered my resignation to her Majesty the Queen and she graciously accepted it.

“It is time for a new government, one that can do what it believes is right, one that commands the majority support of the nation and one that no longer has to look over its back for fear of saying the wrong thing. I ask you to support me in this aim so I can dedicate myself without fear or favour to our national improvement.”

Suddenly the Prime Minister sits up with a jolt. He’s in a cold sweat. He glances at the alarm clock and sees the time is only 5.15am and the sky outside is still pitch black. Samantha Cameron stirs and turns over. “What is it darling? Is everything all right?”

“Yes dear, it’s fine. Just that same dream again, only this time it seemed more real, more like it had actually happened.”

“What?” she says in a confused state. “I don’t understand; it wasn’t a dream. You finally called an early election yesterday. Miliband told Nick he’s not interested in working with him either and we go up to the constituency after breakfast. “

The hairs stand up on the back of Cameron’s neck. Sam was right, it wasn’t a dream, his patience had finally snapped and it was time to ask for the backing of the people.