On the buses: Advertising atheism

But the appearance this week of adverts on hundreds of buses, in Scotland and the rest of Britain, bearing the slogan "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life", may mark the start of a commercial revolution.

The answer-back ad, paid for by atheist, agnostic and humanist campaigners, was a response to the Bible messages often promoted on the back of buses by various religious organisations.

Buses bearing the ads will be on the roads in Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen and Dundee, no-doubt inspiring some who see them while outraging others.

But the fact that donations poured in for the Atheist Bus, far exceeding the initial fundraising target, and that it attracted considerable support from columnists in the liberal press, and that it boasts (as of yesterday afternoon) 13,345 friends on its Facebook site suggests there's certainly public demand for a little more straight-talking when it comes to advertising. The Against Atheist promoting bus advert group has just 323 members.

As comedy writer Ariane Sherine, who spearheaded the fund-raising drive for the atheist group, put it: "This is a great day for freedom of speech in Britain and I hope (the adverts] will make people smile on their way to work."

Certainly over the years there have been plenty of other bus advertisements that have struck the Life & Arts team as having been less than unimpeachable in their message. Beauty products that promise to turn the most monstrous visage into a vision of perfection, high-tech solutions for weight-loss without effort, and promotions for online dating sites that are overflowing with perfect partners are just some of the posters to which we'd have liked to have had a chance to respond. A casual glance at the side of a passing autobus has at times provoked the political, the feminists and the cynical among us to states of outrage, disbelief and occasionally tears (well, almost).

So let's banish the airbrush, put a red line through false words and empty promises and tell it how it really is. Here's a selection of bus-poster slogans as we think they should have appeared.

LOOKING FOR LOVE? THOUSANDS OF GORGEOUS, TWENTYSOMETHING SINGLES AT JUST-A-FEW-LITTLE-WHITE-LIES.COM

FACE LIKE THE BACK END OF THIS BUS? TOUGH! EXPENSIVE BEAUTY CREAMS ARE JUST A CON

ALL THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT – APART FROM THE NUMBER 27 AFTER 10PM, SO JUST GIVE UP AND GET A TAXI

HELL NO, BOYS! YOU'VE BEEN CONNED

FINANCIAL WORRIES GETTING YOU DOWN? SPEAK TO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS JUST HOW YOU FEEL, E-MAIL [email protected]

WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT?GET OFF THE BUS AND START WALKING

IT COULD BE YOU! BUT IT'S EQUALLY LIKELY TO BE ONE OF 14 MILLION OTHERS

YORKIE: NOT FOR GIRLS? WELL, WE'D PREFER THE CHAMPAGNE TRUFFLES ANYWAY

BEAUTY CREAM WON'T HELP IF YOU LOOK LIKE THE BACK END OF THIS BUS – LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE AND SAVE THE CASH

BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT! (THOUGH, LET'S BE HONEST, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT WORTH AS MUCH AS THE PROFIT ON A SUCCESSFUL SHAMPOO SALES CAMPAIGN)

BENEFIT THIEVES: REPORT THEM NOW (BUT YOU'LL BE WATCHING YOUR BACK FOR KILLER ROTTWEILERS FOR EVERMORE)