Grieving mother speaks out against graveyard revamp

The Stillbirth and Neo-natal Death Society (Sands) Lothian, is concerned at the number of neglected graves bearing unkempt toys and tributes, and hopes to create landscaped flower gardens with memorial stones.

The city council, which owns the cemetery, is to pay 2,580 for work on the oldest part, where around 100 babies who died in the early 1980s are buried. It says it has received complaints from parents of babies buried at the ground about its condition. Sands Lothian said it hoped work could, in due course, be extended to newer parts of the burial ground.

But Emma Ramsay, 28, whose son Michael is buried in the cemetery, said any changes could be heartbreaking for parents and is gathering signatures on a petition against the landscaping.

Mrs Ramsay, who lives in Marionville, discovered that her son had died in the womb just before her 20-week scan last year.

She said: "It was very traumatic. I feel so strongly about this that, if I had to, I would have Michael moved to a different cemetery. For me it has to be his space. My son was buried there in July last year and for me his grave is now a sacred place, and whether they're saying that in five years' time or in 20 years' time that's going to be landscaped over – it defies the purpose of me having him buried there.

"If I'd wanted my son to be among the roses and flowers I would have had him cremated and put into a garden of remembrance. I chose to have him buried because I needed to have something for me, my husband and my other children, and that's being taken away from us."

The full-time mum, who has four children aged from 13 months to ten, added: "I can totally understand that these things do look a bit unsightly, but these 'tatty teddies' as people call them, might be the last thing their baby ever touched or had near them, and to wash these teddies might feel like washing their memories away."

Operations manager for Sands, Dorothy Maitland, who herself lost a child 23 years ago, said she did not want to upset parents.

"I feel that once parents start seeing how lovely the memorial garden is going to become, they will have a very different view. I already spoke to a parent whose baby is in the part that we're looking at changing. Initially she was outraged, but now I've spoken to her and she's seen an artist's impression, she thinks it's a lovely idea," she said.

"There will still be a marker for each grave – we're hoping they'll have a small stone memorial with a vase and they can put their baby's name on it. I don't want to be cruel, but that area doesn't belong to these parents, it does belong to the council, and it is pretty awful at the moment."

A council spokeswoman said personal items and grave markers would be replaced where possible after landscaping, and added: "There are no plans at present to carry out any work in other areas. If there were to be any future work we would undertake a full consultation before any decisions were made."