Gay adoption set to be blocked

The adoption of the boy, five, and the girl, four, is in the process of being finalised, despite the vehement opposition of the grandparents.

But now uproar over the decision has raised concerns it could result in the arrangement becoming unworkable.

Social workers fear that the children and the gay couple will face abuse should their identities become known in their local communities.

A source in the social work department said: "There is a chance now this could all fall through if this attention continues and the identities of the people involved become known. The worry is the grief they might get because of it."

None of those involved has been or can be identified by the media, but the fear is of local gossip and neighbours putting two and two together when the adoptive family stay together.

Reports today claimed the mother of the two children said she had been told by a social worker that the grandparents will never see the youngsters again because they had spoken out in the press about the case.

The grandparents said they had previously been told they might be able to see the children twice a year.

But today's reports claim the social worker told the mother the family would pay for bringing the case into the public eye.

The city council has denied it told the mother the grandparents would never see the children again.

The proposed adoption is only the second involving a gay couple in Edinburgh.

The grandparents are opposed to the idea of the children being adopted by anyone other than themselves. But they felt forced to abandon a battle for custody of their grandchildren as court costs mounted and the proceedings dragged on.

They claim they were bullied into agreeing to adoption and warned they would be barred from seeing the children again unless they dropped their opposition to the children being adopted by the two men.

City leaders today insisted that the grandparents had been involved in the whole process and the adoption was the best thing for the children.

Child protection experts, however, warned that children can often get trapped within the council system once taken into care.

City education leader, Councillor Marilyne MacLaren, left, said: "I have been assured that the professional view is that the adoptive couple will provide a safe, secure and loving environment for these children."

Gary Clapton, senior lecturer in social and political studies at Edinburgh University, said:

"The problem is that these kids are of an age where they are old enough to know their grandparents and have had some contact with their mother and this is not something they can switch off.

"As the law stands, the prospective adopting couple can't be compelled into allowing grandparents access so there is a chance they will never see them again."

A spokesman for Unison, which represents the majority of the city's social workers, said: "The process of removing a child from a family or guardians is separate to that of deciding who adopts that child.

"This is not just done on a social worker's whim, it is a long and involved process."

Grandparents reveal heartbreak at decision that's set to put youngsters into the hands of gay couple

IT was a cry for help which would come back to haunt them. Watching their heroin-addicted daughter failing to look after her two toddlers had been too much to take.

Instead, they did what any loving grandparents would do in such desperate circumstances, took the two-year-old boy and his one-year-old younger sister into their own home.

But it was proving to be harder to raise the pair, alongside their own large family, than the 59-year-old farm worker and his 46-year-old wife had counted on.

So, three years ago, they took the fateful decision they would come to bitterly regret – they turned to social services to ask for support.

As they told social workers in their Edinburgh home about their daily struggles, they can have had no idea of the chain of events they were triggering.

Events that would eventually leave them facing the prospect of never seeing their beloved grandchildren again – effectively banned because they cannot bring themselves to believe that being adopted by a gay couple is in the children's best interests.

The lives of the two children – who cannot be named for legal reasons – had been blighted by tragedy before they were born.

The boy's father is believed to have hanged himself two months before the birth of his son.

The chaotic behaviour of their 26-year-old mother, who was gathering a string of convictions, including theft, robbery and breach of the peace, meant there was no stability in their lives.

The children witnessed men beating up their mother and watched her drug addiction spiral out of control.

In one disturbing incident, the mother, a former drug dealer, took her kids into the city centre for the day and ended up in a friend's squat where police were called by neighbours after being alerted by the children's screams.

Before the older child's third birthday, his grandparents had insisted on taking the pair into their Edinburgh home.

They tried to balance caring for the two young children with offering what support they could to their own troubled daughter. But her increasingly erratic behaviour worried social workers, who insisted she should have not contact with her children.

They even asked the grand- parents to take out a court order banning her from their house, but the couple felt that would be turning their back on their own daughter. They said they were willing to ban her indefinitely, but not to do it through the courts.

Shortly afterwards the grandparents approached social workers for their support. They suggested fostering and, in the knowledge there would be regular visits to see the children, after much soul-searching the grandparents agreed.

What followed were two relatively happy years with the children staying at a series of loving, but temporary, homes in the Capital.

Concerned about the lack of stability in their lives, the council suggested adoption early last year. The grandparents were ready to agree but, when it came to deciding who the adoptive parents would be, there was a bitter disagreement.

Although there was never any concern for the safety of the children, social workers insisted the children, now five and four, would be better off with strangers.

They were apparently concerned about the grandparents' ages and health problems – the grandfather has angina while his wife is diabetic.

A custody battle ensued with a series of stressful Sheriff Court hearings. The couple were determined, selling their caravan to fund their court costs, before running out of money.

They claim, though, they felt "bullied" by social workers who stuck doggedly to their belief that the children would be better off with other parents. The grandmother said: "At one stage they said to me, 'are you sure you're not being selfish wanting to look after the children?' How can it be selfish to want to look after your own family?"

Late last year, the couple took the heart-breaking decision to give up the fight.

They were assured, they say, that they would continue to have regular access to the children.

In a passionate letter to the court, the grandfather wrote: "We feel that, due to the time involved in the process and the various objections raised by the social work department, that it would be in the best interest of the children that we gracefully back out of the proceedings and give up all rights to our grandchildren.

"I must admit I feel a little bitter about the whole situation, as they (the social work department] are determined to have them adopted, regardless of our feelings."

There was a final heart-wrenching meeting between the mother and her children at Edinburgh Zoo last August where she had to tell them they were being adopted. Her son apparently grabbed her by the leg as he was about to leave and refused to let her go.

The last time the grandparents saw their grandchildren was shortly after. They took dozens of photographs and tried, for the sake of the youngsters, not to break down. The five-year-old boy was said to have told his grandparents: "Granny, I'm not going to see you for a very long time. Maybe when I'm in primary seven I'll be able to see you. Grandad, if you want to see me you will have to pick me up because I will be a very long way away."

He added: "We are getting a new mummy and daddy."

The couple had been warned that there was no guarantee the adoptive parents would be a "typical family set-up with 2.4 children". They were shocked, however, last week when they were told the children were set to be adopted by a gay couple.

The move came as a surprise to the city's social work leader Paul Edie, who learned of the case through newspaper reports.

Social workers dealing with the case admitted that heterosexual couples who were approved as adoptive parents had also been keen to adopt the children.

The decision to place the children with the gay couple came despite claims from the grandparents that a confidential social work report warned that their granddaughter is generally not as happy around men. The report says she "has tended to be more wary of males in general".

The grandparents say they have been told that if they cannot support the arrangement it would be better for the children not to see them. The grandfather claims he was told: "You can either accept it, and there's a chance you'll see the children twice a year, or you can take that stance and never see them again."

He added: "It breaks my heart to think that our grandchildren are being forced to grow up in an environment without a mother figure. The ideal for any child is to have a loving father and a loving mother. But, in our society, the mother is generally the cornerstone of the family and the most important person for a young child."

His wife added: "It's so important for children to fit in, and I feel our grandchildren will be marked out from the start when they draw pictures of their two dads."

Neither the mother or grandparents have had any contact with the children for months and the gay couple looking to adopt the children are busy making arrangements for the final hand-over from a foster family.

The Edinburgh-based couple have already had a number of visits from the children at their home, with the youngsters set to get their own rooms.

The girl's room is understood to include a "princess" bedspread and the kids have also been shown the Wellington boots which are waiting for them when they move in.

Social services are reported to have asked the mother to meet the gay couple despite having, reportedly, told the children that their mother has been in South America for the last few months.

Now on a methadone treatment course, the mother has expressed remorse for what her chaotic life has caused. The grandparents still have the right to appeal to the courts decision but time is running out and they would need to apply for Legal Aid before taking any action.