Drumlanrig: How much for Tam's heirlooms?

WHITHER Tam Dalyell, the great West Lothian parliamentarian? Why the Antiques Roadshow of course. Before anyone asks if he was a visitor to the show's recording at the Marquess of Linlithgow's pad at Hopetoun House, or an exhibit, Drumlanrig can reveal that the upper-crust former Labour MP and scourge of the establishment took along a Dalyell heirloom to be pondered by the show's experts.

He could not say what the object is - "I am bound by BBC rules of confidentiality" - but confided with a note of disappointment that it was worth "less than 100. A lot less. You see these things worth thousands, that wasn't mine." Oh well, there's always Cash In The Attic and the House of Binns, his Linlithgowshire abode, must have a big one. The show is broadcast on 31 October.

CAN WE GET ANOTHER PROFILE SHOT, IAIN?

IS LABOUR getting just a little worried about leader Iain Gray's lack of profile? The party last week published itsannual report ahead of their conference in Oban this coming weekend. On the front and back covers are no fewer than 19 photographs of the grey-haired Gray variously holding up a poster, grinning with a baby, addressing a conference, wearing a rosette, reading a paper, wearing a hard hat, etc, etc. OK, OK, we get it.

SHAMELESS SARAH'S BOOK OF TWEETS

WITH over 1.1 million followers Sarah Brown, below, wife of the former Prime Minister, is the undisputed Queen of Twitter, constantlytweeting her antics to her faithful brethren. And since her husband lost his job in May,Mrs Brown hashad even more time than usual to dedicate to her favourite hobby. Perhaps it's no wonder then, that she has started tweeting about the traumas involved in writing her forthcoming memoir. With its working title Behind The Black Door, Brown's book promises a WAG's eye view of life at Number 10, and is due to be published next Spring. A recent tweet read "Half-term has started - kids in car *packed loads of stuff inc laptop* #bookdeadlinesignorehalfterm #roadtrip. She's even started asking her tweet pals to do her research for her, pleading recently, "Does anyone remember what my first tweet was back in 21st March 2009? #SBBook".With such shameless self-promotion and scintillatingcontent promised, we can hardly wait.

YOU CRASHED THE SUB? THAT WAS MY LIFT...

Drumlanrig notices that after their two-week holiday, MSPs on the Economy, Energy and Tourism committee are off to the Isle of Skye to examine local enterprise networks. One wonders how they are going to get there. Perhaps the navy would be happy to give them a lift. Speed, bonnie nuclear-powered submarine, like a demented penguin under the sea to Skye. And then on to a pile of shingle.