Drumlanrig

IF SCOTTISH political anoraks are little enthused by the imminent prospect of Salmond vs Gray at next year's elections, at least there is tastier battle to look forward to: Murphy vs Fox.

As new shadow secretary for defence, Murphy (b. Glasgow) comes to the job having spent the last two years driving Nats nuts, overlaying a shamelessly political approach as Scottish Secretary with the kind of folksy niceness that would make your Grannie swoon.

Fox (b. East Kilbride), whose love of his countrymen sometimes does not appear all-consuming, can expect to have his tail pulled incessantly. And we thought fox-hunting was outlawed. Tally-ho!

DAMAGE LIMITATION

CHIEF Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander,below, yesterday reflected on his time as Scottish Secretary - a post

he held for less than a month earlier this year, prior to the resignation of David Laws.

"A friend observed that I had been the youngest, shortest serving, and most successful Scottish Secretary in history. When asked to justify the latter he said 'you didn't have time to do any damage.'"

BRAND LEADER

A CELEBRATED reformed hellraiser and philanderer made a visit to the Scottish Parliament last week. Astonishingly, he had nothing to do with any of Scotland's political parties. The comedian Russell Brand had a quick tour of Holyrood while promoting his latest book.

He swept through the garden lobby where the SNP MSP Alasdair Allan was trying to give an interview to the Beeb. Brand jumped in front of the camera, put his arms around the politician and said: "Come back to England." Brand's charm, although not appreciated by actor Andrew Sachs, seemed to work on Allan who had in a fit of giggles.

TONGUE IN CHEEK

EDINBURGH Castle was the venue for a glittering party held by Wolfgang Mossinger, the German consul, below, who was celebrating the 20th anniversary of the reunification of his homeland. According the consul, a new generation of bright young things has ensured that Germany is looking forward to a prosperous future. In particular he noted his young compatriots' tremendous facility for learning new languages. If only the same could be said of monolingual Scotland.

ANYONE FOR CROQUET?

LANGUAGE - the Gaelic language - was under discussion in the Scottish Parliament when veteran Tory Ted Brocklebank hosted a debate praising the sports coverage of BBC Alba. In it, he revealed in his "misspent youth" he "wasted too much time chasing a rugby ball".

He continued: "Indeed, that passion intruded well into adulthood, and I was still turning out for my former pupils team when sensible people had already switched to croquet."