Best motorcycle club of yesteryear

A more fine upstanding body of chaps you could not find.

SATAN'S SLAVES

On the other hand, the Slaves were the most terrifying motorcycle gang in the history of the world, with the possible exception of the Oakland, California, chapter of the Hells Angels.

Or at least they were for your average Edinburgh biker, quaking in his boots at the thought that at any moment, the Slaves might roar across the Forth Bridge, breathing fire and brimstone, while uttering dire threats in impenetrable Fife accents.

WEST COAST ANGELS

With men sporting monikers such as The Judge, Fingers (humorously named due to his shortage of said digits) and Tank, the Angels were always good value for money.

Vice-president and Lemmy lookalike Banana's amusing habit of dropping live rats down the front of unsuspecting ladies' blouses always went down a storm at parties. Two members once beat up a bikers' bar worthy, allegedly for writing bad poetry; those who had been subjected to this modern-age McGonagall's verse felt that – although a tad brutal – the punishment probably did fit the crime.

PHARAOHS

East-coast club with roots stretching back to the 1970s, and possibly further. On countryside runs guests who "party-pooped" too early would often awake to find a sheep in their tent and their trouser-legs on fire. All good clean fun.

NOMADS

No' mad? No' sane either, if the behaviour of club president Chick was anything to go by. The sight of a large, long haired bearded man – wrapped in plaid, his face painted with woad, brandishing a sword and screaming – often caused fear and alarm among the lieges. However, this was in his role as a battle re-enactment enthusiast, and Chick's Clanranald Trust would go on to establish an "alternative" approach to Scottish history teaching. Went down with kids of all ages.