Ah'm a real master of the Glesca patter, by the way - world's first interpreter of Glaswegian language is appointed

• Interpreter Jonathan Dowie puts in some practice with Glasgow citizens Greta Storrie, right, and Mary McColl

Jonathan Downie has been officially unveiled as the world's first interpreter in Glaswegian.

The 26-year-old language expert was among 500 people to apply when a London-based translating company advertised last year for specialists who could decipher the city's unique patois.

Yesterday, he was put through his paces on a refresher course by engaging with colourful Glaswegians at the world's biggest bingo hall in Parkhead and at the city centre's Horse Shoe Bar.

In the East End, he met gallus Greta Storrie, 60, who bombarded him with a tale about a most disappointing Valentine's Day dinner with her husband.

At the Mecca Bingo Hall in the city's East End, Mrs Storrie, a local lady, began: "He took me up ra West End afore we went tae see Dancin' oan Ice at the SECC. But ah wisnae in furra posh dinner or nothin'. The cheapskate boat me a can o' Coke and a packet o' crisps. He even moaned rat ma crisps were a pound.

"When he saw ma coupon, he tried tae soften me up wi' a boax o' potato wedgies!"

Mr Downie, who has an MSc in translation and conference interpreting from Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, paused for a few moments before converting Mrs Storrie's Glaswegian.

He said: "It seems Greta's husband asked her out to the city's West End on Sunday for the Dancing on Ice extravaganza at the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre. There, she experienced great disappointment as the expensive meal she had been anticipating failed to materialise.

"Instead, all she received was a can of Coca Cola and a packet of crisps.

"When her husband saw her evident disappointment, he tried to cheer her up with a treat of a box of potato wedges."

Mrs Storrie's chum Mary McColl is an impressive 95. The pensioner from Dennistoun explained that all her friends were "deid and buried" and put her long life down to "ma genes".

Mr Downie explained: "By living a good life, Mary has out-lived all of her associates. She puts her extended years down to her excellent genetic make-up."

The translater then met up with regulars at the Horse Shoe Bar in Glasgow's city centre.

Mr Downie, originally from Glasgow but now living in Wishaw, Lanarkshire, says it's the speed at which Glaswegians talk that can make their dialect unfathomable.

He said: "The expression that really confuses the English is 'gie's a haun'. And if you come away with 'whit' in England, they think you are 'wet'. I was thrilled to get one of the jobs. Competition for interpreting in Scotland is really competitive."

A spokesman for Today Translations in London said the scheme was a major success.

He said: "The response to the advert was very surprising and beyond that which we had anticipated. There were 480 applications in total.

"The main qualities required were an excellent knowledge of the Glaswegian dialect/jargon, as well as exceptional spoken English. The candidates required at least five years' experience in interpreting, and relevant industry qualifications.

"The applications were mainly submitted through e-mail and some by snail mail. However, a large quantity came with amusing covering letters written in the Glaswegian dialect."

* Translation: A chap has gained a new employment post and it is truly exceptional.