On with the mask - Mum's the word @JanetChristie2
Masks. It was easy when there weren’t any to be had and everyone was fighting over the last disposable face cover in Freshco’s and a simple scarf would suffice but now they’re compulsory it’s complicated.
We’ve got to wear them, it makes sense: the germs are kept in and out we're told, but so are facial expressions. The cheery smile of thanks for the helpful nebs who tut at you when you go the wrong way up the aisle, and conversely, as my friend Dundee Man puts it: ‘it’s ruining my shopping. My ‘don't bother me’ scowl is hidden behind my mask.’
From high end designer logo-ed bug busters to eco-conscious coverings run up by crafters with a conscience for a cause, it’s all about the mask.
Youngest appears for our shopping trip sporting a stylish, tick, ethical, tick, tartan, tick, washable, tick, efficient on account of its Gringe-style pointy snout, tick, mask.
“Nice,” I say from behind disposable tissue, immediately envious. “Where did you get that?”
“Other Parent. He bought lots and gave us three one each.”
Right. This is where the dressing up box/carrier bag comes in. Every house needs one – whether you have children or not, although their presence makes it easier to amass outfits and provides an excuse – “Lederhosen? Yes I loathe musicals, but it was World Book Day...” and “Easter again, that Ann Summers bunny outfit was worth it after all for the ears”.
As I’ve had years to pile up flammable tat and thingmies (hats, eyepatches, princess outfits, ninja turtle masks, Elvis Vegas white rhinestone pantsuit, oh wait we had to give that straight back) I have the very thing.
“Like my new mask?” I ask Youngest.
“The Purge,” she says. “Yay. My mask from Halloween.”
“Yes, and it lights up too, for night time shopping.”
“Cool. But I think you should lose the baseball bat.”
“Really? Too much?”
“It’s just it’s not from The Purge. It’s Harley Quinn. And also… well, it really doesn’t have anything to do with coronavirus does it?”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A message from the Editor:
Thank you for reading this story on our website. While I have your attention, I also have an important request to make of you.
With the coronavirus lockdown having a major impact on many of our advertisers - and consequently the revenue we receive - we are more reliant than ever on you taking out a digital subscription.
Subscribe to scotsman.com and enjoy unlimited access to Scottish news and information online and on our app. With a digital subscription, you can read more than 5 articles, see fewer ads, enjoy faster load times, and get access to exclusive newsletters and content. Visit https://www.scotsman.com/subscriptions now to sign up.
Our journalism costs money and we rely on advertising, print and digital revenues to help to support them. By supporting us, we are able to support you in providing trusted, fact-checked content for this website.
Joy Yates
Editorial Director