Kirsty McLuckie: Taking net gurus to task

These days, with our smartphones in hand, we are never very far away from a self-proclaimed expert.

Video tutorials, apps and websites guide us through every aspect oflife – from improving our fitness and shaping finances, to replacing a loo seat or deworming the cat.

For every task, there is an online guru ready to help you.

However, at this time of year our thoughts turn to a spot of spring cleaning and, while you may think that housework is a self-explanatory chore – if there is clutter, tidy it, if there is dirt, remove it – exactly how one goes about this has become a multi-million pound industry, with superstar experts emerging, each with a different philosophy.

Image: Mavka Lisova/Adobe StockImage: Mavka Lisova/Adobe Stock
Image: Mavka Lisova/Adobe Stock
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Some 20 years ago, the TV programme How Clean is Your House? launched the careers of Kim and Aggie, whose ward-matron style of forthright advice shamed many of us into giving our interiors a good top-to-bottoming.

But apparently the pair fell out in 2007, and haven’t spoken since – which could very well be a reflection of the arguments about the domestic division of housework which rage across the country.

Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, became a global phenomenon a decade ago. She instructed us to curate our belongings, keeping only those things that “spark joy”.

But, last month Kondo confessed that she has “kind of given up” on tidying since the birth of her children, as her priorities have changed.

During Covid lockdowns – when I despaired at the clutter five adults cooped up in a house can manage to create – I briefly tried another cleaning expert’s advice.

Insta-famous influencer Gemma Bray hosts a website detailingThe Organised Mum Method, which promises a tidy house with just half an hour’s work a day, although – suspiciously – Organised Dads don’t seem to feature.

Key rules include to concentrate on one room at a time, and never be distracted from the designated task at hand.

Which is good advice for the prevaricator, but it can be tricky, for instance, when going into a teenager’s bedrooms to put away laundry, to ignore the dirty cups collecting mould on bedside tables.

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The latest guru to emerge onto the clean scene is Anita Yokota, who is – tellingly – both a tidying specialist as well as a licensed marriage and family therapist.

She believes that an organised house can help us feel happier, calmer and more confident – and help our relationships.

Yokota’s Ski Slope Method implores you to approach each room as if you were swishing down the pistes, tackling a small corner first, then switching to the opposite side and working your way in a slalom pattern through the room. Apparently, this prevents boredom and frustration, as you see small results emerging from the chaos.

I planned to give it a go, until I realised the best advice I could take was my own.

I may be completely unqualified in this field, but even I know that to achieve a clean house I should really put away the apps and magazine articles, ignore the YouTube channels, and get busy with a good old-fashioned mop and duster.

- Kirsty McLuckie is property editor at The Scotsman

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