Testbench: Alcosense Lite (£39.99 from www.alcosense.co.uk)

What seems to be the officer, problem?Hmm. I don’t think we need this smart little retro-Nokia-phone-lookalike breathalyser to know how many sheets to the wind YOU are.

By Stuart Farquhar

Published 13th Jan 2014, 15:03 BST

How dare you! I’m as jober as a sudge!

And a judge is exactly who you’ll be meeting if you were to get behind the wheel of a car just now.

I’ll be fine in the morning!

Aha! That might not be true. Unintentional morning-after drink-driving is apparently on the increase. Just three to four pints the night before could put you over the limit the next morning.

Are you calling me a lightweight?

No, no, not at all. I don’t want any trouble. Now, just breathe gently into the Alcosense Lite and it will give you your reading in a few seconds (which is quicker than some of the other ones we’ve tested).

I’ve never liked you

Hmm. It says here you’re over the limit. How surprising.

You’re my best friend

Thanks, but at 40 quid, this little fellow is my new best friend, although it’s ALWAYS best not to risk it if you’ve had a couple the night before.