Road test: Corsa VXR Nurburgring on track for a total change of attitude

The Scotsman’s Corsas fit the company car ticket perfectly – they’re all the colour of fog and seem to accelerate in accordance with the phases of the moon. The hand-dryer in the gents makes a more pleasing engine note.

They are, in other words, the type of cars that let a fleet manager relax, safe in the knowledge that nobody in their right mind would be desperate enough to pinch one for an under-the-radar weekend blast to the Nürburgring and stick the bill on expenses.

Now, though, I’m in a Corsa, barrelling across Knockhill’s start/finish line at well over 100mph, in the rain, having a ball. I repeat: in a Corsa. The engine is rasping away and the car sticks like a limpet in the wet. My senses say “go-kart” but the badge on the boot definitely says “Corsa”. What’s going on? The Corsa VXR Nürburgring, that’s what.

This pocket rocket, tuned to tackle the fearsome twists of Germany’s Nürburgring Nordschleife circuit, is the hottest Corsa of all and Vauxhall is extolling it as one of the quickest B-road cars in its class. Based on the one lap of Knockhill I’ve just completed, I think they may be on to something. But is it enough “something” to tempt you to spend £22,295 on a Corsa?

Let us poke our heads under the bonnet to see if we can see where your money goes. Power from the “standard” VXR’s already potent 1.6-litre turbo’d engine is cranked up again, this time to just over 200bhp. In a car as titchy as this, that means a 0-60mph time of 6.5 seconds and a top speed of 143mph. The numbers are only part of the equation though. All power and no handling make Corsa a dangerous lad, so the Nürburgring has been lowered by 20mm at the front, 15mm at the back, and fitted with tailor-made springs and dampers.

Best of all, it gains a limited slip differential which stops the front tyres from lighting up like Catherine wheels when you floor it (which you will, at all times) and does wonders for mid-corner grip – press the throttle in a bend, even a soggy Knockhill bend, and the inside front wheel tugs the Corsa safely round. I can’t begin to explain how it works without the aid of several sheets of A3 paper, a box of Meccano bits and eight hours of your time, but it works.

The hot Corsa certainly looks the part, its Chilli Orange paint doing its best to brighten a dreich day near Dunfermline. Gloss dark grey alloys and Nürburgring logos on the B-pillars and front spoiler make the Corsa stand yet further from the crowd.

Inside, black and red Nürburgring lettering features on the sill scuff plates and the supportive Recaro front seats. White stitching on the seats, handbrake and gearshift complete the interior package. It sounds the part, too, thanks to a stainless-steel sports exhaust that produces a pleasing crackle as the tacho-needle leaps towards the red.

Our budget won’t stretch to a test drive round the Nürburgring, but Knockhill in the wet presents just as big a challenge. Goading me on from the passenger seat is British GT Championship driver Jonny Adam, who knows the Knockhill circuit like the back of his hand and is confident that, under his tutelage, I won’t stuff everything up at the first corner.

With Jonny as my navigator, we look for the right line round the circuit, feeling our way at first but picking up the pace with every passing lap. Jonny barks commands like a Formula 1 satnav unit: “Off the throttle, brake NOW, off the brakes, turn in, turn, back on the power, unwind the steering, power on, power on, that’s it.”

Half a dozen laps later, and I’ve finally got the hang of Knockhill’s hairpin. In my book, that makes me a moderately competent driver, for which Jonny and the Corsa VXR Nürburgring must take the credit. Me? Moderately competent? I can’t pay the Corsa a bigger compliment than that.

AT A GLANCE

CAR: Vauxhall Corsa VXR Nürburgring

PRICE: £22,295

PERFORMANCE: Max speed 146mph; 0-60mph 6.5s

MPG (COMBINED): 37.2

EMISSIONS: 178g/km