No one tells a joke like Glasgow's Billy Connolly

25 of Billy Connolly’s best jokes, one-liners and quips

Laugh till you're sore with 25 of Billy Connolly's best jokes.

We compiled some of "The Big Yin's" finest jokes, observations and quips - here are 25 of his finest lines:

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

1. There are two seasons in Scotland\: June and Winter.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BBC
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Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesnt try it on.

2. Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesnt try it on.

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesnt try it on.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.

3. A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.

A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.

4. Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.

Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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