Teresa Hunter: Never mind the spies, call on your inner Bond to make a FTSE killing

FUNNY how austerity and spy stories go together. In the Fifties, as Britain emerged bankrupt after the war, Ian Fleming gave us James Bond, a public school elitist and ruthless killer. Hardly a creature of his time, he became one of our greatest heroes.

That said, last week's revelations about sleeper Russian spys probably have more in common with Graham Greene's Our Man from Havana, also written in the Fifties. This failed vacuum-cleaner salesman is so desperate for cash he allows himself to be recruited by the British Civil Service. Out of his depth, he makes up fictitious secrets, and is decorated with an OBE.

I think those funny chaps at the KGB have such a cracking sense of humour, they established these sleepers and allowed them to be uncovered, just to cheer us up. After all, we have global depression, global war on terrorism, why shouldn't we have a jolly good global giggle?

It was a welcome distraction. Big job losses are on the way. Pension deficits look set to reach 140 billion. Stock markets hit the skids. Property ground to a halt.

The FTSE 100 saw most of the recovery it achieved over the last year wiped out when shares crashed through the 5000 barrier on Tuesday. It recovered a bit on Friday, closing around 4857. Worryingly, there may be more of this to come next week, badly hitting pensions and other savings.

Investors are nervous, and fear can be a self-fulfilling engine. Some of it is rational. It's now considered a foregone conclusion Greece will default on its debts, there are concerns that China, on whom hopes of recovery are pinned, may be running out of steam, and consumer confidence in the US has dipped.

So we could do with a bit of Bond cool. In a tight corner he called Q, who might agree that while Bond had a licence, this didn't stretch to ordinary investors who were simply having a bit of a wobble.

He'd point to the good news such as the better than expected US employment data on Friday. Sensible Q would convince him Greece isn't actually going bust, but give him a magic pen to draw up a debt restructuring plan, thereby saving Europe. He would show Bond how cash rich companies are, and how their results have been ahead of expectations. He might even stretch to some magic sunglasses, which, when worn, revealed even better corporate results to come. Fear dead, danger over. Bond can return to his martinis.

To jump back to Havana, the chief of police says: "Some people expect to be tortured. Others are outraged by it." Just so with the stock market. Smart investors, though, anticipate these dips, indeed they relish them. This is when they buy. Cheaply.

Pensions scandal

THE next stage in the attack on public sector pensions is now under way with the BBC's plans to sharply cut back what it pays to existing employees, who face losing two thirds of the pension they might have expected, according to some experts, because the broadcaster is changing the way their pensions are calculated. Salary, on which pension is based, will increase by only 1 per cent from hereonin, irrespective of how much their pay actually increases.

The BBC's scheme operates like a local government pension, in that there is a fund which has a 2 billion black hole. Pressure will now mount for similar action to cut other public sector pensions.

Unions are threatening to strike. Can it be coincidental then that the Beeb also agreed to publish the salaries of its highest earners? That should choke off quite a bit of public support.

Smart and trusted

TODAY we say goodbye to a dear friend of these pages, tax expert Valerie Smart, one of the stalwarts of our consumer panel, who retired on Friday from her career as head of tax in Edinburgh at PricewaterhouseCoopers. She always maintains she was never any good at maths when at school, which takes some believing given her boundless enthusiasm for all matters tax.

It was when she embarked on a career as an accountant, she says, that she was struck by a passion for numbers, which never dimmed. Numbers always tell the truth, she would argue. As someone who learned this much later in life, I know exactly what she means.

Follow the numbers and you get to the bottom of most stories. Governments, companies and organisations will make all sorts of claims, but when you study the numbers, a very different picture emerges.

We shall miss having Valerie around to keep us on the right track and wish her the healthiest of balance sheets in retirement.