Andrew Arbuckle: Don't expect politicians' support for higher prices

I HAD last week off and, not having been to London for a long time, I decided to visit the place where my money and initial enthusiasm seem to disappear with great speed.

In my sightseeing trip to the big smoke, I went round to Downing Street and there was the famous black door complete with a policemen guarding it. All as seen on TV. However, I imagined when I went round the back of the premises, the door was ajar.

When I went in there was a wee note saying: "Busy sorting out the problems in the Middle East, if anything comes up, I will leave it to you."

I don't know to whom the note was addressed but I decided to have a little look around. I had hardly started when I heard a commotion outside. Carefully I pulled back the lace curtains to see what was going on.

What a shock. It was not just a demonstration but it was a farming demonstration. Thankfully, as the resident (temporary and imagined) of No 10, it did not seem to me to be a rowdy demonstration.

I thought if this had been France there would have been tractors ploughing up the road or lashing down heaps of slurry on the pavement to the general disruption of urban life. But this demo was all very well behaved and orderly

However, as they brandished their banners and placards calling for support for the British pig meat industry, I worried that it might get out of hand.

There on the wall was a phone and a little notice saying if in difficulty phone Sir Humphrey, the senior civil servant.

So I informed the head mandarin that there was a protest going on outside. I cannot be sure but I think he yawned but I did hear him say: "Oh no not another one."

"Don't you think we should do something?" I asked as the shouts of "save our Bacon" came through the letterbox.

"There are less than 1,000 pig farmers in the country so, in voting terms, they hardly register on the radar," came the dismissive voice down the phone.

Another look around the curtain to the noisy but orderly crowd outside confirmed that the farmers and the C list celebrities they had encouraged to come along were targeting the supermarkets in their demand for better pigmeat prices.

"How about getting the big retailers in on this?" I asked the faceless one on the end of the phone. "Oh no," came the response."We are already having great difficulty in getting them to agree to anything that will control their powers.

"We are trying to bring forward an idea that there should be an ombudsman to ensure fairness in the food supply chain but the big five supermarkets are resisting this.

"We have even changed the name to that of adjudicator to see if that is more acceptable to them" he reminded me.

I really did not need to be reminded because I had just read the words of Sainsbury's boss Justin King, who had stated: "It is not our role as retailers to accept costs. It is our job to bear down on costs."

The president of the English NFU translated these thoughts to mean that if the big retailers can buy supplies more cheaply than they currently do then they will do so.

Now politicians throughout the world are well aware that among the most definite methods of provoking unrest in the civilian population is either to have a shortage of food or very expensive food.

Think of Russia closing down its export borders to ensure there was sufficient food this past winter. Think of the unrest in the Middle East where part of the problem is the large slice of the family income that goes on buying food.

So while the farmers outside my (temporary and imagined) residence were shouting for a rise in pigmeat prices, I could see it is very unlikely the politicians will do anything that will bring it about.

By this time, and despite my (temporary and imagined) position, I was feeling rather impotent. There seemed little a politician could do.

I was also feeling peckish and went to make myself a bacon sandwich to fortify myself for the rest of the day. As I did so, I remembered a recent campaign by a celebrity chef on the "throwaway" fish that are caught and then dumped overboard by fishermen who are only allowed to catch a certain quota of a certain species.

It seems the publicity surrounding this wasteful policy and its public backlash has concentrated the minds of politicians and moves are now afoot to bring about change.

Now if the pig farmers were able to get a campaigning celebrity chef to highlight the poorer health and welfare conditions in some of the countries from which we import pig meat...

I quietly closed the back door of No 10 as I munched through my bacon sannie.