Will Slater: 'We are in the middle of a tense negotiation period'

Does she a) point out how well made they are, highlighting the double-stitching and grippy sole? b) list the many occasions she might wear them, and promise never to leave them lying around? or c) concede that her friends all want/have a pair and that they are really no better than non-branded ones that cost a fraction of the price so will happily wear those instead?

Do you a) exclaim: "How much?" over-dramatically, followed by "You must be joking" and other comments, not unlike "they're only a pair of plimsolls"? b) point out that she already has some perfectly good trainers so insist she pay half out of her pocket money? or c) say: "OK, that all sounds reasonable and you only have to ask for whatever you want?"

Younger daughter loves having a story read to her at night but also wants to stay up to watch a favourite show on TV. Does she a) carry on watching and quietly slip off to bed once it's over, knowing that the moment for a story has passed, but happy she made the right choice? b) switch off the TV because the programme is being recorded, allowing maximum time for a story? or c) watch as much of the show as possible, including coming back while cleaning her teeth, then plead desperately for a story?

Do you a) switch off the TV and order her to bed? b) warn constantly that she can have either, not both, and she will have to decide which, story or TV? or c) say: "Of course you can watch the programme and I'll read you a story too, there's no harm in going to bed late on a school night"?

It is Saturday teatime and we are all having spaghetti bolognaise. Except this is a different recipe, one from Nigella no less, with lentils in it.

Do the children say a) "We love experimenting with food and can't wait to try out this new recipe"? b) "Are there any carrots in it?"? or c) "We're not eating it"?

Do you say a) "There's nothing else, so you'll have to eat it"? b) "It's very similar to the normal one with some special extras that are good for you so at least try it"? or c) "Of course you don't have to have it, we'll make whatever you want"?

If you answered mostly a) you are lord and lady of your manor, a parent in control, one who knows what is good for everyone. If you answered mostly b) you are a hand-wringing liberal who always wants to let children take ownership of issues affecting them. If you answered mostly c) you are a pushover who can't say no.

So which am I? Well, I'm sometimes a), often b) and occasionally c), your everyday hand-wringing authoritarian pushover parent with money and control issues.

This article was first published in The Scotland On Sunday on April 04, 2010