We're all living with the trauma left by war

Val, 53, joined the military police when she was just 17, and was posted to Belfast shortly afterwards, in 1974.

She met and became engaged to fellow soldier Steve Day, but two weeks before they were due to marry, tragedy struck.

Val and Steve were on the same foot patrol in Belfast city centre when an explosion killed Steve and another soldier. Shortly afterwards, Val discovered she was pregnant.

It is remarkable that she has not suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, but she puts it down to the fact she had to focus so hard on raising her daughter, Irene, now 34.

But Val has not completely escaped the effects of PTSD.

After leaving the army, she married Colin, a lance corporal in the 4th Royal Tank Regiment. As the News reported earlier this month, Colin fought in the first Gulf War, where he saw sights that changed him forever, leaving him prey to mood swings and violent outbursts.

For many years the family thought it was just the way he was, until Colin discovered the Mark Wright Project and realised his behaviour was a classic symptom of PTSD.

Speaking in support of the Evening News campaign to keep the under-threat centre open, Val, now a housewife in Gorebridge, is incredibly calm when recalling her own experiences of conflict. "My mum panicked when I said I was going to Northern Ireland, but my attitude was if your number's up, your number's up."

After leaving the army, Val moved home to Chichester to raise Irene, where she met Colin. In December 1990 he was sent to the Gulf, where he saw many horrors, including a mile-long stretch of burnt out vehicles and corpses.

After he returned, the couple married, had twins Robyn and Hazel, now 18, and moved to Scotland. Colin didn't discuss with Val what he had seen but his personality changed.

Val said: "Colin has mood swings. You'll say something and he'll go quiet and you can't get a word out of him. Hazel's very good at winding him up and he can be volatile. He got to the stage once where he stuck his hands around her neck."

For 19 years, the family coped with Colin's moods, knowing nothing about PTSD.

Val said: "I don't think I ever did really make the connection until his friend told him to come down here and (centre counsellor] Andy Lorimer said maybe that's what's been the problem all the way along."

Because of her own experiences, Val understood why her husband had never discussed the Gulf War with her, but it was a huge relief that he finally had a place where he felt able to talk with people who shared his experiences.

Now Val is extending that helping hand to others in her situation, and has helped set up Friends and Family of X Service Personnel, or FFOXS. The group meets regularly at the centre, bringing members respite from what can be an isolating experience.

She said: "Some of the partners here didn't know what PTSD was, or how to cope with it. Not all the guys talk about it. When you look at it, we're all living it by association.

"There must be an awful lot of women out there who are suffering and don't know who to talk to."

For more information on FFOXS contact [email protected] or 0131-654 2531.

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