Travel: Malta

WHEN a devout Catholic holidaymaker from Donegal wearily pauses outside the umpteenth historic church on one of our escorted day trips then gleefully proclaims: "Praise be to God – it's shut!" he's merely giving voice to the thoughts of myself, my wife and most of our fellow travellers.

Apparently Malta has more than 360 places of worship and today it feels as if we've marvelled at the ceilings, frescoes and altars of every one. Still, I can't help nervously glancing heavenwards, fearing divine retribution in the shape of a lightning bolt for such blasphemy.

Instead, the skies remain cloudless and blue, the temperature 26C with a balmy breeze, and we shuffle back to the coach.

It's day five of a fantastic seven-night trip and we've enjoyed almost every minute – but once you've seen half a dozen Renaissance churches … well, you get the icon. Besides, there are myriad other places of interest on this fascinating Mediterranean island.

After a four hour flight from Edinburgh, our early touchdown is marked with the broadcast of a cheesy fanfare. We are met at the airport by our enchanting rep for the week, Dorianne, and board the minibus to the four-star Cavalieri Hotel at the bustling town of St Julian's with its array of waterfront restaurants.

As we pass through various hamlets we notice plenty of buildings that appear to be works in progress – though there doesn't seem to be much work, or any progress.

The hotel is light-filled and modern, its lobby overlooking the pool area and the bay beyond. Our room commands fine views of the Mediterranean and the millionaires' marina of Portomaso, but also a patch of wasteland which is less easy on the eye. We head to the outdoor pool deck at the water's edge.

Slumped on a lounger, soaking up the rays, beer in one hand, paperback in the other, I could get used to this. Despite a stiff breeze (I narrowly avoid decapitation as a sun brolly goes flying past at head height), the temperature is rising so I cool off by enjoying the novelty of floating effortlessly in the saltwater pool, rather than sinking like a stone as usual.

Soon it's time for the delicious buffet-style dinner at the hotel, and I eat my bodyweight in tuna steaks, mixed salad, roast vegetables and gooey desserts, washed down by a couple of bottles of marvellous Maltese chardonnay.

A leisurely moonlit stroll around the marina burns off all the calories, probably, before we retire to our balcony for a nightcap, though the evening is curtailed when the external lights inexplicably go out at 11pm.

Breakfast is a spread of tea, coffee, scrambled eggs, bacon, patisseries and fresh fruit before we board the bus for a half-day visit to the capital Valletta. Our guide is Dutch-born Danielle, who has lived on the island for two decades and whose knowledge, friendliness and courteousness are largely responsible for making the holiday so enjoyable.

Highlights of the tour include wandering the bustling galleria-lined historic streets, visiting the Barracca Gardens with its breathtaking panorama of the Grand Harbour, the stunning St John's Co-Cathedral, whose marble-lined tombs provide the final resting place for medieval knights and noblemen, as well as home to Caravaggio's mind-blowing Beheading of St John the Baptist.

We potter about in tourist tat shops for the afternoon, before getting a local bus back to the hotel in time for dinner and some mighty craic with our Irish companions.

Several hours later I am helped to bed.

Day three is a rest day, mercifully, spent largely by the pool apart from a wander to one of the many al fresco eateries along the bay for lunch. We phone home to find that our three children are barely aware of our absence and would probably prefer it if we stayed away indefinitely. Hooray for grandparents.

The next day is a full-day escorted excursion to the agricultural hub of Gozo, a picturesque 25-minute ferry crossing away from the main island. We pose for photos at the Azure Window at Dwejra, take a cruise through the eerie caves of the Bay of Xlendi and climb the citadel at Victoria for stunning views of the island.

We also visit the Ggantija Temples, the oldest freestanding building in the world, and arguably the most boring too. They should make it a McDonald's.

Day five is another full-day escorted tour taking in the ancient walled city of Mdina, the botanic gardens on San Anton, the implausible Grotto of St Paul and Mosta's vast domed parish church.

We also stop off for a photo opportunity at Dingli Cliffs but the weather has deteriorated and mist obscures the view. Returning to the hotel tired but happy, we are glad that day six is devoted to lazing by the pool.

Day seven is spent visiting the 'three cities' of Vittoriosa, Cospicua and Senglea, culminating with a breathtaking fregatina boat tour of the Grand Harbour. It is the perfect climax to a wonderful holiday in a friendly and fascinating part of the world.

Malta may not be near the top of many people's must-visit list, but by my reckoning it probably should be.

The next day our flight home is delayed for several hours. When we eventually land, there is no cheesy fanfare.

TheTravelDepartment.co.uk (tel [phone]) organises seven-night holidays to Malta and Gozo with direct flights from Edinburgh and Belfast. Prices start at 539 per person plus 110 tax and include accommodation in the four-star Cavalieri Hotel at St Julian's, breakfast and three-course dinner each day, half-day guided excursion to Valletta, full-day guided excursion to Mdina (lunch included), half-day guided excursion to the Three Cities plus boat trip of Grand Harbour, full-day guided excursion to Gozo (lunch included), entrance fees to attractions.

This article was first published in Scotland On Sunday, 9 January, 2011